The World's Common Tater

I know that this is major breaking news to those who know me in real life. I’m a freaking genius. How can I be wrong? I know it is hard to believe, but it happens. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes when doing the schedule I click on the wrong name. Sometimes I miss something that is on a calendar. I hate admitting that I’m wrong. I hate discovering or being told I made a mistake. It’s not a fun feeling. You know what I don’t do? I don’t try to sharpie my way out of it. I don’t spend an entire week trying to pretend that my mistake wasn’t a mistake. I try my best to fix my mistake. I look at why I made the mistake in an effort to not do it again. I try to learn from my mistakes, but I will still make mistakes. I will still be wrong on occasion. Maybe I should buy some sharpies…

More breaking news – sometimes I won’t have the answer to a question. I know this is hard to read. I’m shattering all of the illusions people have of me. I’m not sure how they will go on knowing this. I don’t know everything. Grammarly tried to change that sentence to “I don’t know anything” Fuck you Grammarly. Anyway, sometimes you will ask me something and I won’t know the answer. When this happens I will do the unusual thing of saying that I don’t know and then might recommend you ask someone I think might know the answer or I will offer to ask them myself. I won’t pretend to know something I don’t. Eventually, someone will figure out you don’t actually know. Wouldn’t that be more embarrassing than just admitting it in the first place?

I also won’t pretend I did something I didn’t. I won’t take credit for someone else’s work. I won’t pretend that I did something I didn’t do and then try to do it real quick and pretend it was done all along. I won’t real quick add something to my calendar and pretend it was there and other people just missed it before. If you do that don’t you realize that you aren’t fooling anyone? We don’t all live in a vacuum. People talk to each other. If you tell someone you did something someone else did don’t you think it is possible word will get back to the person who actually did it? Or that perhaps the person you asked to do it asked someone else to do it and now you are telling the person who did it that you did it(based on a real-life event)? Just stop. You aren’t fooling anyone who is paying attention.

So, in short. I am a flawed human trying to do the best I can Sometimes I will fail. I will try my best not to become a person who tries to sharpie my way out of a mistake. I will not pretend to be something I’m not. Unfortunately, it seems the sharpie people are the people who move ahead in life and people like me who get left behind.