Thoughts on Leaving and Being Forgotten

Before any of my coworkers or fellow Marylanders start to celebrate you can cancel the party plans – you are stuck with me for a while. I know most of you are now too depressed to read the rest of the post, but I will continue to write anyway.

I’ve written a little about this before(Lost Connections). I started thinking about it again when I received an email from the place I worked for 19 years. They emailed asking for information. I gave them the information and also told them I was in a new job. I received a one word email back(thanks) with no acknowledgment of the news of the new job. I’ve also never been invited back since I left. While I was there, they traditionally invited former coworkers back for holiday lunches and special events. I have never been invited back and only hear from them when they need something. I’m not really that bothered by it. I just wonder sometimes why I seem so easily forgotten.

I once attended a church for about 14 years. I was a deacon, a Sunday school teacher, a youth leader and served on various committees. I spent much of my life at the church and on youth trips. There came a time when it became obvious that it was no longer the right fit for my family so we started looking for a new place to worship. It took a while, but we have found a new church home. When we stopped attending the old church no one ever contacted us about it. I did tell the youth pastor that we had made the decision to leave, so that might be why there was no outreach but I still wonder after all the time I put in at the church how we could leave with no contact at all. No call or visit from anyone associated with the church at all to even ask why we felt the need to leave. Several months later, I received an email from the church. It was not an email checking on us. It was obvious from the content that the sender didn’t realize we had stopped attending. It was a big church, but I didn’t think it was that big. Again, a situation that makes me wonder why I am so forgettable or if the 14 years at the church really had so little impact that no one missed me when I was gone.

I moved to a new branch almost 6 months ago(I’m sure it feels much longer to my new coworkers). I wonder if the old branch already seems like I was never there. I was just some random, replaceable guy who used to work there.  I’m 8 years away from removing myself completely from the collective memory of the library world. I can live my life as an old hermit writing sad blog posts that no one will read. I’m OK with that.

 

 

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My Long Awaited(By No One) Survivor Game Changers Post

This week was a two hour episode, but there was no big drama or event that warranted an extended episode. I’m pretty sure the two hour episode was for scheduling. The season started later than usual and still needs to finish during May sweeps, so two hours.

The two hours starts with a merge, but a merge with a twist. There was a merge feast, but there was also Jeff letting them know that they could only have the feast if one person from each tribe agreed to give up the feast. I, of course, proclaimed to my daughter that I would volunteer to give up the feast. She pointed out that I was not starving and was, in fact, eating pie while making this proclamation and that it isn’t that easy. She might have a point. Culpepper and Tai agree to sit out and the rest feast. That’s really the only excitement of the first hour. Zeke tells the Varner story to the merged tribe, Andrea wins immunity and it is pretty clear that Michaela or Hali will be voted out. It ends up being Hali after Cirie decides to try to save Michaela and Hali is the first member of the jury.

The second hour has a little more scheming and game play. There is a reward challenge and some naked Tai at the reward. The immunity challenge is one that Ozzy has won twice. It comes down to Ozzy and Tai and Tai eventually wins. Then the scrambling starts. Andrea wants to get rid of Culpepper or Sierra, Zeke wants to get rid of Andrea. Andrea finds out and then goes after Zeke. Debbie and Sierra decide to try to take Ozzy out. The votes at tribal were weird. Zeke voted Aubrey. Cirie votes Sierra. Debbie usess the extra vote on Ozzy even though it wasn’t really necessary. I really don’t understand what was with the Zeke and Cirie votes. Weirdness from Debbe is to be expected.

Nothing surprising in either vote. Ozzy still hasn’t figure out that being a provider is not enough to stay in the game. He’s never seemed to learn the social part of the game. I’m still not sure who is allied with who at this point.

Why I Keep My Facebook Public

My Survivor recap that no one will read will come tonight or tomorrow morning. For now, I am reblogging this one because I thought about it when a friend of a friend commented on a post yesterday.

The World's Common Tater

I generally keep most of my Facebook statuses public. Periodically, something happens that makes me consider changing that. Usually, it’s when some random person I don’t know decides to take offense at something I shared without actually reading the article or knowing why I shared it. I always make the decision to stay public. Here are my reasons why:

1. The only time anyone reads this ridiculous blog is when it posts to Facebook. If I’m going to insist on writing stupid stuff on occasion, I would like to get a few hits. The only way that happens is if a lot of people see it on Facebook. Keeping it public allows for the possibility of new people reading it.

2. I enjoy seeing random people who are friends of friends liking my posts on Facebook. It is a narcissism thing, I know, but I like to see that my…

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Don’t Be a Reason Why

I am four episode in to the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why. I read the book years ago, but I’m discovering I really don’t remember much of it so I’m getting the story like it is new to me. The basic plot is that a girl has committed suicide and left tapes behind for people to listen to about why they are one of the reasons why she did it. I am not even halfway through, but it has already made me think a lot.

I think back to my days in high school. My hope is that people who knew me then have more positive memories than negative ones. I hope that, for the most part, I was not someone who made life difficult for my classmates. Unfortunately, I know there are times that I was not a positive in someone’s life. Times when I acted badly in an effort to seem cool or to fit in with the people around. Times when I acted without thinking. Times when I could have been there for someone and wasn’t. Again, my hope is that the positives outweigh the negative. For those who might have bad memories of me, I’m sorry.

I hope the same for my adult life. I hope that I am a positive in the lives of the people who know me. I hope that I never make anyone seem small or worthless. I hope that people know that I am there for them if they need me. Again, I know that there are times that I am in a bad mood and not an easy person to be around. My hope is that these times are outweighed by positives. I hope to be more mindful of those around me and strive more to be a positive in the world.

I’ve seen articles saying that they fear that this show glamorizes suicide. So far, I have not seen that. I think this show helps people to see that your actions affect other people in way that you might nit know. Something that you see as insignificant can mean a lot to someone else. We should all try to think more about how our lives are impacting those around us.

Currently Reading: A Thousand Miles from Nowhere

This Blog is Worthless

A few months ago I decided to upgrade to a paid WordPress account. I decided that it was worth it to have more options in the look and feel of something I intended to spend more time on. I opted for this instead of a self hosted option because I didn’t have the skills nor the time to deal with that. When I upgraded I turned on Word Ads in the hope of making back some of the money I paid. So far, I have made a grand total of 65 cents. This past week was one that made me wish once again to have a job where I didn’t have to ever talk to another human. This made me start thinking again that it would be nice to make some money from the blog. I even signed up to be an Amazon Affiliate(you can find a link to buy stuff on my About page and probably a link at the bottom of this post to buy the book I am currently reading) I realized as soon as I signed up that it was a waste of time, but I did it anyway. There are various reasons why I will never make a profit here. Here’s a short list:

1. I’m Not Any Good:  I enjoy writing my dumb little blog posts, but I know I’m really not that great at writing. I could probably be a little better if I sent more time on the posts, but I generally write when I have limited time before I have to go to work. Even if I had the time, I probably wouldn’t take the time because of reason 2

2. I’m a Lazy Writer: I like to post and go. I don’t have the patience to go back and re-read the posts to make sure they sound OK. I will do a spell check and try to catch typing mistakes, but it is always just a quick scan and I usually miss something. Sometimes I even forget to make sure I’ve added a title. Lazy writing is not good writing.

3. I Have No Audience: My typical post gets about 50 views. I feel like I’ve had a good month if I hit 300 view for the month. Other people get that many comments or likes on their posts. A lot of this stems from the first two points. My audience is low because of the quality of the posts. It also stems from the hodge podge nature of my posts. I don’t have a focus, so I don’t draw in an audience.

4. I’m Bad at Networking: I know that I could draw more people in if I sent more time reading and commenting on other blogs, but I’m also too lazy to do that. Lazy, but also not inclined. I don’t want to become the person who does that just to build an audience.  I will only read and comment if I like the blog and have something to say. I’m also not inclined to market myself. I post a couple of times on Facebook and Twitter and even then I feel like I’m being annoying.

5. I Won’t Push It: I will share my new blog post a couple of times, but not more. I don’t want to be the guy who’s entire social media is an advertisement for his blog. I also will never again mention the Amazon thing for the same reason. I’m blogging because I like to blog and don’t want to make it all about trying to make money.

So, the point of this post is to basically say that I will continue to do what I’ve been doing. It would be nice to make back the money I’ve spent on the upgrade, but I’m not going to let a desire to make money change what I’m doing. I know I will never have one of those blogs read by thousands so I should stop thinking about it.

Currently reading: A Thousand Miles from Nowhere

A Very Emotional Survivor Game Changers

Caution: Spoilers ahead:

 

I should have known something big was gong down in tribal council last night. After the normal “previously on” and the scenes of the tribe after tribal, we moved quickly to the reward challenge, saw brief scenes from the two tribes and then moved on to the immunity challenge and then to what I will be writing about: tribal council.

At tribal council, Jeff Varner started out trying to explain to the tribe why they should vote out Ozyy instead of him.  In doing so, he talks about a secret alliance between Ozzy and Zeke. Of he had stopped there, everything would have been fine. Unfortunately, he did not stop there. He turned to Zeke and asks him why he has not told them that he is transgender. He then goes on to say that this shows he is capable of deceit.  Zeke looks like he is in shock The rest of the tribe, to their credit, immediately turn on Varner telling him, rightly, that no one has the right to out someone. Varner tries to backtrack and says he is sorry, but I’m sure at that moment he is only sorry it didn’t work. I guess he thought the tribe would either agree that this means Zeke is deceitful or perhaps be bigoted enough to vote him off for being trans. In the end, they don’t even need to officially vote. Probst asks if he is correct that Varner is going home, they all agree and off he goes.

There have been a lot of villains on this show. Many people have done despicable things to try to win the money. Outing someone on TV has to be the worst. You have to be a pretty terrible person to 1. reveal such personal information without his permission and 2. think that Zeke being trans is a reason to vote him or his alliance out. I’m glad he is out of the game.

 

 

Tater Takes on United, Hitler, Egg Rolls and A-Holes

  1. United: Unless you live under a rock, you’ve seen the video of the man being dragged off a United flight to make room for United employees who needed to fly. To be fair, United only ever said the skies were friendly. They never promised to be friendly before takeoff or after landing. I might consider adopting this management style. No volunteers to take the desk shift? Let me re-accommodate you. I like it.
  2. Spicer and Hitler: So, Sean Spicer when talking about Syria actually said Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons: “We didn’t use chemical weapons in WWII. We had someone as despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons,” He then tried to clarify with “he was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Assad is doing” I think it’s time for a visit to the Holocaust museum. I’m sure he would be allowed to do that on work time. I’m sure the alt-right is pleased with the thought that he might not consider Jews people.
  3. White House Egg Roll: It seems based on recent reports that the White House is way behind on the planning of the White House Easter Egg Roll. I can see the reason behind this now: “President Trump, we need to get things going on the egg roll” “I love egg rolls. I like to dip them in ketchup. But no egg rolls unless the Chinese pay for them” I’m glad we got a chance to take our kids to the event when they were little. It was a lot of fun. Too bad it looks like it won’t be well planned this year.
  4. False Equivalence: I’m not really sure if that term applies here, but it’s the closest thing I could think of for this section. I’m tired of seeing people argue that we shouldn’t help refugees until we help homeless veterans. Why can’t we help both? I saw a comment on the topic of drug addiction saying we shouldn’t spend money on treatment for addiction because kids have cancer. Again, can’t we fight cancer and drug addiction? No one is saying we should only help refugees or only fight drug addiction and I think the people with the false arguments know this. They just don’t want to help refugees or drug addicts, but it sounds better to say they care about others than to say they just don’t like these people. I wonder how many of them are actively helping homeless veterans or donating to organizations fighting cancer.
  5. People Suck: The last couple of days I’ve had some situations that remind me that most people only care about themselves. They can’t take a minute to stop and think about how their actions might affect other people. There is a knee jerk reaction to do what is easy for them instead of some consideration for others. I’m not claiming to be a saint, but I like to think that more often than not I try to do the right thing and help others when I can. On days like this I sometimes think that I’m done with that. I’m going to become the asshole who only cares about himself. I never will though(unless I already am and don’t realize it. The asshole is usually the last to know) I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that. Please, stop and think about your decisions. Do the right thing when you can. Try to be a positive influence on the world. Look outside your personal bubble and think about those around you.

Currently Reading: Chuck Klosterman X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century