How to Fail at Blogging(Like Me!)

There are plenty of posts out there about being a successful blogger. This one will show you how to fail. Enjoy!

Start a Blog and then Ignore it For Years – I signed up for WordPress a long, long time ago. I posted a few times a year and never really thought about it. I started posting regularly a couple of years ago.

Once You Start Posting, Be Inconsistent – When I say I post regularly, what I really mean is that I post more often. There is noting regular about my posts. If you want to be sure no one will read your blog post at odd times, on different days and with no regularity at all. No one will ever know when to look for one of your posts.

Don’t Find a Niche – Be stubborn like me and post about random stuff with no consistency. One day it is politics, the next television. No one will know what they will get and many of your readers won’t be interested in the majority of your posts.

Don’t Publicize Yourself – Sure, have your blog post to Facebook and Twitter, but then just leave it alone. Don’t reshare much because you don’t want to annoy people. Bonus points if you do reshare in the most annoying way possible or by inserting yourself in a Facebook or Twitter conversation.

Be Bad at Interacting with Other Bloggers – Follow blogs, read them, but never feel like you have anything to add to the conversation so don’t comment. Get busy and then stop reading the other blogs for a while. Or better yet, don’t follow any other blogs at all. You don’t need them. You can do it all alone.

Write Really Fast About 15 Minutes Before You Leave For Work – Don’t stop to think about what you are saying. Don’t research topics at all. Don’t edit. Just type and post. People love error ridden, stream of consciousness posts. Occasionally forget to give the post a title before publishing. That’s professional level work right there.

Be Generally Bad at Writing – If you are really good at writing, you might do all of this and accidentally get an audience based on talent alone. The only way to ensure the lack of success at my level is to be an untalented hack.

If you follow these tried and true methods you too can have a mediocre, unnoticed blog. Good Luck!

25 thoughts on “How to Fail at Blogging(Like Me!)

  1. Tragically Uncool February 20, 2018 / 6:08 pm

    But you’re funny as heck, so none of the other stuff matters. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Renard Moreau February 20, 2018 / 7:40 pm

    [ Smiles ] That is quite a lovely way of putting across the things that we bloggers are not supposed to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Remedial Stitcher February 20, 2018 / 10:07 pm

    I think I already do all of this. I don’t remember when I wrote my last blog post. I guess that means that I’ve succeeded!

    Liked by 1 person

      • deepasthoughts February 22, 2018 / 11:00 am

        Finding the bug is like half solving it (if you want to)

        Like

  4. josypheen February 26, 2018 / 2:35 pm

    Heh. This post made me smile.

    I like this kind of thing a lot more than those posts about how to make a zillion dollars by being a successful blogger!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. pearlsandgrit February 26, 2018 / 3:14 pm

    I had to break out of my un-blogger tendencies and interact with a comment to tell you I found this to be fantastic! Clever and a little sarcastic . Perfection.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Laurie August 23, 2018 / 3:36 pm

    bahahahahaha appreciate the candor

    Like

  7. johnrieber August 23, 2018 / 4:10 pm

    So many great pieces of advice to ignore – thanks, it’s easy to forget how much damage we can do to something we care about!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. OurFour Suitcases August 23, 2018 / 5:58 pm

    This would make a great series of articles…”How to Fail at”….I bet it would catch on…trust me, my instincts are great 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. robbanybarton August 23, 2018 / 8:46 pm

    Hehehe Yes, that sounds about right!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. arun April 13, 2019 / 2:27 pm

    Hehe. Sounds exactly like my blogging skills.

    Like

  11. Michelle April 14, 2019 / 3:04 pm

    This is great!! I’m a very spiteful person so it makes me want to do the exact opposite of what you said to do. 😀 I seriously did all of these things when I first started blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. theycallmetater July 25, 2019 / 8:50 am

    Reblogged this on The World's Common Tater and commented:

    Not a lot of time nor energy to be original today, so I thought in honor of my blogiversary week I would reshare my advice on how to be a failed blogger like me. Enjoy!

    Like

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