In this case I mean sick as in physically ill. Every other day is the rambling of a mentally sick man. Today I am home sick from work. I went home early yesterday because I didn’t feel good. I woke up this morning not feeling great again. I knew the minute I woke up that I shouldn’t go to work. I got out of bed anyway. I had coffee and read the paper. I still knew I didn’t feel good enough to go to work. I took a shower and got dressed anyway. I still knew I didn’t feel good enough to go to work. I drove to work anyway. Once at work I realized I really shouldn’t be there. My boss took one look at me and agreed. I am now back home and under a blanket on the couch. I will try to nap today in hopes of feeling better. I don’t have one defining symptom. Just an overall feeling of blah. So, why do I try to convince myself to go to work when I’m sick? Let’s make a list.
- Guilt – I think about the fact that other people will have to work extra hours on the desk if I’m not at work. I think about stuff I need to get done that will now be one day behind. I think about meetings I might miss. I feel guilty about all of this and convince myself that I should do to work.
- Mild illness – I never get really sick. If others in my family get a stomach bug and can’t keep anything down for days I will feel a little queasy for a day or so. I get mild versions of everything so I never really feel so sick that I know for sure I should stay home.
- Judgment – People can say they don’t judge you for calling out sick, but I know that isn’t always true. I’ve had enough people make comments or bring up the fact that I called out sick to know that there are people who look down on people who call out sick. I just need to stop caring about people like that.
OK, so it’s only a list of three, but that still counts as a list. I need to learn to stop worrying about it and start making sure I stay home to get better.
I will end with a quote that has been in my head as I wrote this
Don’t kill yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead
It would take a little longer than a week, but the sentiment is true.
Today is one of those rare days when I actually feel bad enough to stay home from work. This only happens once or twice a year. It’s hard for me to call in sick. There’s always a part of me that thinks I should just suck it up and go to work. I feel guilty about someone working extra desk shifts because I’m not there. I think about the stuff I was supposed to do and feel guilty about not doing it. I know it’s better for me and my coworkers for me to stay home, but I still feel like a slacker. Of course, being at home isn’t easier. I feel like I should do something productive instead of resting like I should. It will be hard for me to rest instead of cleaning bathrooms or doing laundry. I don’t know why I feel lazy when I know I need the rest. I blame the Obama administration. Thanks, Obama.
I watched the debate last night. Maybe that’s what made me sick. I feel like there was a clear winner, but it seems the thought on that depends on who you supported going in. Trump people say Trump won(he didn’t). Clinton people say Clinton won(she did). I don’t think the debate changed anyone’s mind. I’m not sure the undecided voters will be swayed by the debate. If you are undecided at this point there is probably one candidate for which you refuse to vote. If you are an undecided Republican I assume you can’t stomach voting for Clinton, but can’t decide if you can bring yourself to vote for Trump. You will either not vote, vote Johnson or vote Trump. If you are an undecided Democrat I assume you can’t stomach voting for Trump, but can’t decide if you can bring yourself to vote for Clinton. You will either not vote, vote Stein, write in Bernie or vote Clinton. I’m note sure the debate changed any of that.
I’ve been considering the possibility of paying to upgrade my blog. I would like to make it look better and have the option of making money off of it if I can grow my readership. I told my wife this and her response was “You have a blog?”I just looked and confirmed O started this blog in 2008. I did just start writing more regularly recently, but 8 years and you never noticed? Anyway, I made the mistake of reading articles about the pros and cons of a wordpress.com premium account and just confused myself. I really just want to write my blog, make it look professional and have the possibility of monetizing it. I think the wordpress.com one is good for that, but articles point you toward wordpress.org, but that seems much more involved than what I want. Maybe I should just ramble free for a while longer.