Thoughts on Leaving and Being Forgotten

Updating this one because lately I have found myself at the same place as some people from my old church on a regular basis. They have all walked right past me with no indication that they know who I am. I guess my impact there was a lot less than I thought and you can tell from the third paragraph below I already knew it was low. I assume when I find a new job I will quickly be forgotten at work as well.

Before any of my coworkers or fellow Marylanders start to celebrate you can cancel the party plans – you are stuck with me for a while. I know most of you are now too depressed to read the rest of the post, but I will continue to write anyway.

I’ve written a little about this before(Lost Connections). I started thinking about it again when I received an email from the place I worked for 19 years. They emailed asking for information. I gave them the information and also told them I was in a new job. I received a one word email back(thanks) with no acknowledgment of the news of the new job. I’ve also never been invited back since I left. While I was there, they traditionally invited former coworkers back for holiday lunches and special events. I have never been invited back and only hear from them when they need something. I’m not really that bothered by it. I just wonder sometimes why I seem so easily forgotten.

I once attended a church for about 14 years. I was a deacon, a Sunday school teacher, a youth leader and served on various committees. I spent much of my life at the church and on youth trips. There came a time when it became obvious that it was no longer the right fit for my family so we started looking for a new place to worship. It took a while, but we have found a new church home. When we stopped attending the old church no one ever contacted us about it. I did tell the youth pastor that we had made the decision to leave, so that might be why there was no outreach but I still wonder after all the time I put in at the church how we could leave with no contact at all. No call or visit from anyone associated with the church at all to even ask why we felt the need to leave. Several months later, I received an email from the church. It was not an email checking on us. It was obvious from the content that the sender didn’t realize we had stopped attending. It was a big church, but I didn’t think it was that big. Again, a situation that makes me wonder why I am so forgettable or if the 14 years at the church really had so little impact that no one missed me when I was gone.

I moved to a new branch almost 6 months ago(I’m sure it feels much longer to my new coworkers). I wonder if the old branch already seems like I was never there. I was just some random, replaceable guy who used to work there.  I’m 8 years away from removing myself completely from the collective memory of the library world. I can live my life as an old hermit writing sad blog posts that no one will read. I’m OK with that.

 

 

Some Random Tater Ramblings

I still have nothing in my brain for a full post. Part of it is a change of schedule for my wife where she is working from home most Mondays. It’s hard for me to write with others around. Also, she doesn’t get why I bother. Part of it is my frame of mind of late and I worry that will not get better now that my day to day’s main negative force has returned. Let’s see what random thoughts pop up as I go with this post.

  • I think if you are an almost 80-year-old man and you just had a heart attack you should probably stop trying to be president.  Running for president is tiring, Being president should be even harder. Why keep going?
  • I can’t believe the Supreme Court is going to hear a case to decide if it is legal to fire LGBTQIA+ people. How is it 2019 and it is not already settled that this should be illegal? I know why, actually. Too much mixing religion with government. That’s why.
  • I don’t understand why anyone would want to micromanage people. My life is hard enough without looking over the shoulder of others while they do their work. I would rather trust that my employees are doing their jobs unless there is a reason to think otherwise. If you can’t do that you probably shouldn’t have employees.
  • One of the signs of me being in a bad place mentally is not being able to find music I want to listen to while driving. I love music. All kinds of music. If I flip through the music on my phone and am dissatisfied and then can’t find anything on Sirius either I know there is a problem. I’ve had a few days like that recently.
  • These Braves/Cardinals games are stressing me out. Why can’t we have one easy Braves win? Is that too much to ask?
  • I’m happy to have Braves baseball at least through tomorrow and then Kentucky basketball starts Friday with Madness, It’s a great time to be a sports fan.

I will stop there. Who knows what tomorrow might bring. My wife will be home again tomorrow and I work my first real full day at work for three weeks as not the boss anymore. That won’t be fun.

Welcome to Tater After Dark

Welcome to Tater After Dark where I write now because I have time to do it without having to leave for work. Of course, I started so late now I’m rushing to finish before my wife gets home.  This post is not nearly as exciting as the title makes it sound. It’s basically some rambling thoughts about a few things.

  1. I posted on Facebook this weekend that my early New Year’s resolution was to stop joking about finding a new career and actually look for a new career. I started a little of this process today interviewing for a job at another system. As I move forward in to the new year, I will consider looking outside the library profession and possibly move on from the library world if I find the right situation. It would have to be the perfect situation as I would be giving up being less than 7 year to retirement. I just know that things need to change and I can’t just sit around and hope the changes will come. I have to try to make the change myself.
  2. I watched the last Rick Grimes episode of The Walking Dead last night. There are spoilers after this sentence, so stop reading if you haven’t watched. While I agree that the announcement of Rick Grimes movies cheapens the whole “last Rick Grimes episode” thing, I did like what they did and what it will be going forward. I l know people think it’s cool to not watch the show anymore, but I do still enjoy it. I think they found a good way to write Rick out of the show without killing him. I like the time jump and I like the idea of seeing Judith as a kid who has only ever known the zombie world. I think the show without Rick can be better and I look forward to seeing what they do with it.
  3. I was looking on Twitter today to see if there was any news about the Ravens firing John Harbaugh. They didn’t and I found a lot of people saying they didn’t think they should. I disagree. I know Harbaugh won a Super Bowl, but 4 sub par years in a row is too much, The team needs a change. Status quo isn’t getting it done. You don’t pay millions for mediocrity.
  4. Time change was yesterday. It’s now cold and dark. It’s also rainy. If it’s going to be cold and dark it might as well snow. Cold, dark and rainy sucks. I need to put up the Christmas tree to add some festivity to this cold, dark and rainy world. I’m sure it will go up the day after Thanksgiving like normal. I also want to go look at Christmas lights and really enjoy the season this year. It might be time for me to head back up to 34th street in Baltimore. I would also like to go to NYC for a day to enjoy the decorations there. I need festive.

I hope you have enjoyed Tater After Dark. Stay tuned tomorrow for some other random post and a random time of day.

A Collection of Short Tater Thoughts

I have no topic for a long form post today. The following are random short thought that will hopefully pop in my head while I am writing.

Hello Guvna: The Governor of Maryland will be at my old branch today. A delegation from his office will be at my current branch today. The Governor will not join them. I’m sure that I am missing out on my shot by not getting face time with Governor Hogan. I’m sure he would hire me on the spot.

Driving: I could write about this every day. My latest traffic complaint is that yesterday I was driving on a highway with 55 MPH speed limit. I will admit that I was speeding(70 in a 55) and still someone comes up behind me a rides my bumper because they wanted to go even faster. That is just a guarantee that I will start to drive much slower. Yes, I’m that driver.

Reading Slump: I don’t hate the book I’m reading, but I don’t really feel the need to read it when I have free time. I guess I should take a break from it and read something else to see if reading in general is the problem or if it is the book. It’s hard for me to take a break from a book if I plan to finish it.  I’m good with quitting a book I hate, but I find it hard to take a break or quit a book that is just mediocre.

Goals: I’ve written here several times about not knowing what I want to be when I grow up Our new CEO plans to meet with each of us to ask what we do, but also what we want to do in our job. I guess I need to figure that out soon so I have an answer. I’m not sure “retire” is the answer she wants. Maybe I will tell her I want her job.

Blogging: I will end with more blog talk. I am going to set a goal to be more organized with my blog. Right now, I just get my laptop and write whatever pops in my head that morning. I rarely plan ahead. This is fine for what I want as far as the writing goes, but it leads to long stretches of not posting because my mind is blank. I want to start doing more planning on what I will write. I want to be better about writing down topics and rants as they pop in my head. I have no idea what will work for me, but I hope it will at least lead to fewer long breaks from posting. Any suggestions appreciated.

 

Some Short Wednesday Thoughts

I recently hit 200 followers on this blog. I would like to say welcome to the new followers and also I’m sorry for the inevitable disappointment you will feel when you read my posts regularly. There are some people I follow who start a blog and 6 months later they have a gazillion followers. I would like to meet all of these bloggers in person so I can punch them in the face.

I drove down to a local shopping center today to get lunch and buy a gallon of milk. Every single 4 way/all way/ 3 way stop was a practice in frustration as people sat and waited because no one knows how it works and so nobody drove. This includes the people who are coming in to the shopping center and are not supposed to stop. It’s really not that hard. Why don’t people know how to do this? I’m not sure what confuses people more a 4 way stop or a traffic circle. It is really annoying.

My library is about to announce who they have hired as our new CEO. I went to a meet and greet with the candidates where I talked to each of them in a group setting for 10 minutes. So, of course, I think I know exactly who they should hire. Why would I trust the people who have interviewed them all twice and have seen their resumes. My gut feeling is obviously better than actual work, right? I am trying to remind myself not to really think this way when they announce the CEO. I’m sure they will make the right choice regardless of who I liked best in a very causal, brief meeting(but I’m sure I’m right).

We upgraded our TV service recently and now I can record u to six shows at a time and twice as much can be saved as before. I know this seems excessive, but for someone like me who gets more excited about the network upfronts than they do the Oscars this is big. I can finally sample all of the random new shows that air without juggling my recording schedule. Maybe I will try writing a few reviews even though I suck at writing reviews.

That’s all for today. Happy Wednesday!

Some Random Friday Stuff

A few short random things from the week.

  • I decided to download a logic puzzle app to my phone so I have something to do when I’m home alone and don’t feel like reading. I keep messing up the puzzles, but I’m pretty sure it is less I’m no longer good at logic puzzles and more my stupid fat thumbs keep clicking the wrong box on the grid and I don’t notice until it is too late. At least I hope it’s I have fat thumbs and not I’m getting dumber.
  • I just bought my ticket to a fundraiser that is being held at a bar called Urban Axes in Philadelphia. It will take place during the PLA Conference. The ticket includes an open bar and axe throwing. Alcohol, librarians and axes. What could possibly go wrong. Now I just have to not chicken out and actually go to a strange bar with strangers and throw axes.
  • I’ve been really tired this week because I stay up too late(or sleep on the couch while trying to stay up) to watch the Olympics. I enjoy the snowboarding events, the speed skating, luge and skeleton, and some of the skiing, but the rest kind of bore me. I prefer the summer Olympics. I can watch a lot more swimming and track and field than I can skiing and I would rather watch gymnastics than figure skating. I’m ready for these games to be over so I and go back to my regularly scheduled TV viewing.
  • I was going to add some stuff about the gun control debate, but it seemed too serious compared to the rest of the post. I will say that I am annoyed by the people who are dismissing the teens from Florida as pawns being used by adults like high schoolers can’t possibly have anything important to say. I would also say that if you post anything claiming these kids are crisis actors and not real teens who went through a traumatic event I will most likely unfriend you on whatever social media it is on. I can be friends with people who disagree with me but I can’t be friends with people who post false and slanderous claims about these kids.

 

A Short Rant

The Youth Media Awards were announced this week. The book Hello, Universe by Erin Entrada Kelly won the Newbery Award. I saw one person on Facebook comment that the one review of the book mentioned that the r word is used a lot in the book. I don’t know what review that was, but I found one on Amazon with the same complaint. Is the r word used in the book? Yes, but you have to look at context. It is used multiple times by the bully against a kid who goes to the resource room for special help. I know that we would rather not see the word, but if you are writing realistic fiction you have to be realistic. I guarantee you kids are still calling other kids retarded no matter how many times we tell them the word is hurtful. It is real for the bully to use the word. Nothing about the book makes it seem this is OK.

In the fall there was a big controversy over the book The Black Witch. There was a review online that pulled several racist comments out and used them to say the book was hurtful and should never have been published. People piled on and posted negative reviews on Goodreads without ever reading the book. I read the book. What they fail to comprehend is that those racist statements in the book were said by racist characters. Some were said by the main character, but the entire point of the book was to see the growth in a character who was raised to believe her race was superior only to realize how wrong that was once she goes to school with other races. Context matters. It was a very good book.

I keep seeing over and over again how books are being pulled from schools because parents complained about language or other content without thinking that this language and content is what makes the book real. Why do you want your kids to read sugar-coated realities? Why are we judging books on a few words instead of on the entire content of the book? Why can’t we read challenging and difficult stories anymore?

Also – there was another school shooting today. We seem to be more active in removing “dangerous” books from schools than we are in keeping actual danger out. Maybe we could fix that?

While My Face is Numb…

I am home after a trip to the dentist. I am still partially numb. I had some gum lasered off and a tooth filled. I am afraid of what my mouth will feel like when I am no longer numb. I’m hoping it won’t be as bad as I think.  While I am killing time watching women’s luge some random thoughts that aren’t enough for a full post:

The 2018 Youth Media Awards were announced today. Click here to see the winners. I’ve read The Hate U Give and The Long Way Down. Both excellent books. I’ve checked the Newberry and the Printz winners out and will read them soon. I’ve placed holds on several of the Alex Award winners/ This is perfect timing as I was about to finish the last book I had from the library. I’m looking forward to some good reading.

I stopped at Target on the way home today but bought nothing. I stopped to look at some products like facial wash for men, beard balm, generally things that aren’t necessary but might make me feel a little better about myself. I looked at prices and didn’t buy anything because I wasn’t sure it was worth the money. Basically, that I am not worth the money. Some day I will learn to not walk away from buying something for myself. Today was not that day.

Continuing my bad sports year. Braves were bad. Ravens were bad. Kentucky basketball is bad. Libraries on the are where the Braves play might close, possibly because they wasted so much money on a stadium when the existing stadium was fine. I can take a bad team if they are lovable losers. I loved watching the bumbling Braves of the 80’s These teams are not lovable losers. It’s not fun to watch.

Now I’m off to walk the dog and hope that my face doesn’t start hurting. Happy Monday!

 

 

Ice Ice Baby

Due to the threat of impending inclement weather my library closed at 1 today. I also had a free sandwich at Mission BBQ that expired today, so on the way home for my surprise free afternoon I also got a free sandwich. It was the perfect storm of good fortune. I did underestimate the traffic that would already be out at 1PM on a day when many offices and schools closed early.  I also underestimated the level of stupid in the other drivers. Also, I might have a slight issue with road rage.  Anywho, this means that I have time to write a rambling blog post about random stuff instead of reading my book.

We watched the Golden Globes last night. Well,  I watched most of the Golden Globes last night while reading my book. Well, I watched a good portion of the Golden Globes last night while sleeping with my book in my lap. I did see the Seth Meyers monologue and thought he did a good job. I have not seen most of the nominated movies, so I can’t really comment on those awards. I also have not watched many of the TV shows nominated. I was happy to see Aziz Ansari win. I love Master of None. I slept through the Oprah speech, but I will say that I am anti anyone from the entertainment world being our next president. If we keep going this direction, we might as well change the process and make it a reality show. On the plus side, if it was a reality show more people would probably vote. Maybe I’m on to something here.

As I write this, my daughter is watching Friends over and over again. I don’t get the binge watching thing. I can watch a couple of episodes of a show and then I’m ready to move on to something else. I get bored with the same thing over and over no matter how good it is. I need variety. I seem to have lost control of my TV. That’s unfortunate. I guess I will read my book with Friends as my soundtrack.

Happy ice day!

Too Much

I keep trying to decide what to write about, but there’s just too much going on right now to settle on a topic.

Do I write an angry post about Trump? His attack on the first amendment and freedom of press? His threats to pull FEMA out of Puerto Rico? The fact that he is, in fact, a moron? I feel like I could post every day about him and his poor decisions.

Do I write about Harvey Weinstein and the years of people covering up his crimes? Do I write about the fact that too many powerful men(and plenty of men with little power) think this is OK behavior? Do I write about how we elected one of these men president? Do I talk about how sad it is that some men can’t seem to not grope or otherwise assault women and that this is a sign that we need to do a much better job in raising our sons?

Do I write happy news that the Nats once again imploded in the playoffs and will be sitting at home the rest of the postseason? Have I mentioned how much I despise that team?

Or do I go with the option of boring you about my personal stuff? If I do this, do I try to find some funny or do I go with the deep, introspective type of post?

Maybe I can just write a post with a bunch of questions about what I should write about. No, that would be stupid.