Updating an old post. This is still something I struggle with daily. My commute is half what it was before and even on a bad traffic day, I get home earlier than I did on a good traffic day before. I still get impatient and mad at people driving too slow. I still hate being late or leaving later than I planned even if it doesn’t matter. I show up places early because I leave a cushion in case there is traffic. Maybe someday I will learn to relax. Maybe it will come when I retire and have nowhere I need to be.
Day 8 of the challenge asks me to share something I struggle with. The hard part of this one is choosing which of the many things that fit this category. I struggle with anger(especially while driving), patience, self-esteem, mild depression, math, and many other things. I have decided to choose patience.
As I said in my pet peeves post, I really hate when people are late. I really struggle with patience when dealing with these people. Unfortunately, I have these people in my family and my lack of patience with them can lead to a tense morning when we are preparing to go somewhere. I still submit that if we are going somewhere with a definitive start time that I am in the right and my impatience is justified. Where I need to relax is when there is not set in stone time we need to leave and I’m still extremely impatient with people who are not ready as fast as I am.
I also struggle with patience while waiting in lines. It doesn’t take long for me to start to fidget and look ahead to see why it is taking so long. Generally, that leads to me judging the people in front of me. “Why is it taking so long to order coffee?” “Have you never been to a Starbucks before?” Why did you wait until you were in front of the line to look at the menu when you had plenty of time to look while we were waiting?” Why the heck are you still writing checks?” “Why is everyone so dumb?” I don’t say any of this out loud(usually) but it is running through my head. Why does it make me so mad? I don’t know. Usually, I’m not even running late. I just hate waiting in line.
I’m not sure how to fix this. I would prefer to be calmer, to learn to relax a little, to be OK with reading a book while waiting in line, to maybe be able to have a nice chat with my fellow line waiters. I’m just not sure how to get there.