Tater Talks Incels

One of the most ridiculous things that has surfaced with some of the recent shootings is the “incel” movement. Wikipedia defines incels thus: “Incels (a portmanteau of “involuntary” and “celibacy“) are members of an online subculture[1][2] who define themselves as being unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as inceldom.” It goes on to describe the movement: “Self-identified incels are almost exclusively male and mostly heterosexual.[4][5][6] Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentmentmisanthropy,[1] misogynyracism, entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active women and more sexually successful men.[5][7][8][9][10] The Southern Poverty Law Center has described the subculture as “part of the online male supremacist ecosystem”,[11] and self-described incels have committed at least four mass murders in North America.”

Basically, they are a bunch of assholes who are “involuntarily celibate” likely because they are violent asshole losers. Instead of saying “I’m a violent, asshole loser so women don’t want to sleep with me” they blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on women and men who aren’t violent asshole losers, but mainly on the women. They’ve used this as a reason to commit the aforementioned mass murders. It has to be the worst reason thus far for committing heinous crimes and goes perfectly with our society today. We raise kids to believe they are entitled and perfect and everything bad is someone else’s fault and not theirs. Boys grow up thinking they can have whatever they want whenever they want it. Some boys are taught this in combination with the idea that they are superior to women and that women exist to please and obey men. Add these two together and you get the current climate of men who sexually assault and harass women and “incels” who blame everyone else for their lack of sex and romance. I wish I had answers here, but I don’t.

I can’t really wrap my head around the whole incel thing. I should be someone who can understand their thinking. I was involuntarily celibate in high school and half of college. The difference is I didn’t blame other people.  I wrote about the fact that I am a socially awkward introvert  here. In high school and college(and now, really) I was a short, ugly weirdo. It was pretty obvious why I was “involuntarily celibate.” I knew the above, so when I did like a girl in high school, I would never actually tell her. I knew the odds were that the feeling were not mutual. It takes a special type of woman to have romantic interest in a little weirdo like me. I could have used this “involuntary celibacy” to be angry at others. I could have blamed my lack of dates on other people. I will admit that I did have less than kind feelings about guys who dated the girls I liked, but it was normal jealousy, not “I want to murder people” feelings.

As a former “involuntary celibate” I still don’t get how we got to the point that this leads to the decision to hate and commit mass murder. If any one can enlighten me, I would appreciate it.

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