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Losing Friends on Facebook

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About a month ago, a friend on Facebook posted that she was going to unfriend people she considered hypocrites for speaking out against the Capitol riots and not on the Black Lives Matters protests. Or something like that. I can no longer see the post because very soon after that post she was no longer my friend on Facebook. In this case, it’s easy to know why she unfriended me. It was easy to see that she unfriended me because I went to look for something she had posted around the same time and saw we were no longer friends. I discovered soon after that when I posted something in a Facebook group for my high school class that I was no longer friends with a couple more people from high school/ I have no idea when or why they unfriended me. I have downloaded an app now that tells me who unfriended me because I think it will be interesting to track when it happens to see if I can guess why. Since downloading the app, I’ve lost one more friend. This time it as someone I only vaguely knew via library stuff. I’m assuming in this case it was just them cleaning up their friend list and random “no longer librarian” didn’t make the cut.

Being unfriended is nothing new to me. I’ve lost several friends over the years and I can guess in a lot of cases why. Here are some I know of:

One friend from college who got mad when I didn’t reply to a comment he made on a post. He then posted a comment telling me if I was going to ignore him he would unfriend me. After that, it was pretty much 100% I was never going to reply/ We are no longer Facebook friends.

Another college acquaintance I met at a religious organization. We were playing some Facebook game from long ago where it asked random questions to friends. The one that came up for me to send to him was “have you ever had an STD?” He said I needed better questions and then was no longer my Facebook friend.

Another person from the same place that has friended and unfriended me a couple of times. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect I’m not “Christian” enough in my posts for her.

A high school friend who unfriended me during the 2016 election when it was clear I was very anti-Trump.

Other have unfriended me over the years without a clear cut reason. I assume it’s because they cant handle so much awesome.

I don’t generally unfriend people. I did do a purge at one point where I started unfriending people from work who were not actual friends. The theory was that I was going to go completely private, but then halfway through I gave up and stayed public. I unfriended two people from high school who were way into conspiracy stuff and posted after mass shootings that they were false flag operations and the victims ere crisis actors. I didn’t want to ne connected to people who would post that. I generally just unfollow people rather than unfriend them. Sometimes I mute them for 30 days first and then unfollow if they are still posting what annoys me. I unfollow some people for posting so much that my entire feed is them. I rarely unfriend.

Have you lost friends on Facebook due to politics or other disagreements?

Do you unfriend people you disagree with?

Facebook: Keeping You Safe From Tater Since 2018

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I know that being on Facebook isn’t cool anymore, but I’m still there(because I’m not cool) and get more interaction there than any other social media site. I share my blog posts on Facebook and routinely share articles and news I think my friends will enjoy. This week, I seem to have been caught up in Facebook’s crackdown on fake and spam accounts.

I am an Atlanta Braves fan living outside Baltimore. When the Orioles traded two players to Atlanta, making that now five former Orioles on my team, I shared the article I saw on Twitter to Facebook. An hour or so later I had a notification telling me that Facebook had removed the post because it looked like spam. I clicked the “this isn’t spam” thing, complained about it, and it was restored. It was a minor annoyance and means nothing in the general scheme of things. I complained(because that’s what I do) and I moved on with life. It is annoying, though, that the majority of my feed these days are people sharing quizzes, “what would you look like as the opposite sex” things, articles from dubious sites, etc and they somehow all make it through the screening process. I recently shared a Snopes article after multiple people shared a prayer request that has been floating around since 2010 and is not even an accurate account of the original incident. That seems OK to Facebook.  But an accurate article about a baseball trade” THIS SHALL NOT STAND! Ok, maybe I am still a little bitter.

Yesterday, I noticed a blog post didn’t share to Facebook and then I received an email from WordPress telling me that Facebook no longer allows WordPress to share posts to a personal profile. I can share it to a page(and now this will post to my Tater page) or I can share it manually to my profile. I just can’t have it share automatically to my personal profile unless I make it a page instead. So, it can still be there, I just have to use one extra step to get it there. I guess they think if I’m a Russian agent trying to topple our democracy that one extra step will thwart me.

“I have to post this article that will destroy America manually? That will take another 30 seconds. Damn you Facebook! America lives to see another day!”

On the plus side, Facebook seems determined to save my friends from my Tater posts. I’m sure they all slept better last night.

Digging Up Old Posts

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There seems to be a trend on Twitter of people digging up old tweets to discredit or embarrass people. In many of these cases they are taking things out of context or finding jokes that they take to be serious statements. I look at Timehop every day. It’s fun to go back and see what was happening in my life in past years. I find that I post a lot of very similar things over the years. I never realized I was so predictable and boring. I’m also reminded(not that I needed a reminder) that I spend a lot of time trying to be funny on social media. I’m basically a bad comedian testing bad jokes online even though I never intend to ever actually be a comedian. This week I found the following post:

“I need to go back to sexual harassment training. I’m not sure I’m doing it right.”

I’m sure someone could take that post and try to use it to against me. I’m sure I have a lot of other bad jokes out there that are similar. One of the things I do the most in real life and online is pretend to be the guy who thinks everyone is in love with him.  I only do this with people who know me and know that I am the exact opposite of that guy(but everyone really is in love with me). This has probably resulted in a lot of bad jokes that, taken out of context, could be the types of old posts people are digging up to make people look bad online. I’m not really worried about it. I’m a nobody. No one will waste time trying to make me look bad. I can do that without help. I just thought it was interesting to see that post while seeing the Twitter situation.

Tater’s Writer’s Block Tuesday

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I decided that I needed to write something this morning. I had a thought about what I wanted to write. I sat down with coffee and the laptop and got started. I typed a sentence. I deleted the sentence and typed another. I deleted that one and typed two this time. I've now deleted those two and instead started writing about deleting the previous sentences. I can't seem to get more than a sentence or two into a topic before I get stuck. Normal people would probably just put the laptop away, but I've never been normal. Here are some things I could write about if I could write more than a sentence:

The Post-Vacation Blues - I'm still in the middle of the post-vacation blues. I'm counting down to retirement(8 years) when the vacation will never end. I think it's harder after an event you've been anticipating(high school reunion) and also after visiting family(why did we choose to love so far away). I guess I will get over it soon. If not, maybe I can win the lottery and be on a permanent vacation.

Politics - The Today Show is playing while I'm writing this. There is plenty I could write about in the news, but I'm not ready to go there. Everyone knows how I feel about President Trump(I throw up in my mouth a little every time I write that) and he's doing nothing to change my mind.

Unfriended - Speaking of my thoughts on the president. I was very vocal during both the primaries and the general election on my feelings on Trump. I noticed during this time that a couple of people were no longer my friend on Facebook. I guess they were either tired of reading about politics in general or didn't like my opinions. It's not the first time I've lost Facebook friends. I keep discovering that people who used to be my friends are no longer my friends(usually when they comment on a post I'm following) and I'm never really sure when or why this happened. I think a few unfriended me because I'm not "Christian" enough(meaning I don't blindly follow the political opinions of a church), some did it over politics and a few just don't really like me. Their loss.

Random Thought While Trying to Sleep Last Night - I don't think it would be possible to time travel without messing up time. Even if you went back as yourself in the past there is no way you could replicate everything and any little deviation could have a big impact on current time.

That's a lot of writing for someone claiming to have writer's block.

Why I Keep My Facebook Public

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I generally keep most of my Facebook statuses public. Periodically, something happens that makes me consider changing that. Usually, it’s when some random person I don’t know decides to take offense at something I shared without actually reading the article or knowing why I shared it. I always make the decision to stay public. Here are my reasons why:

1. The only time anyone reads this ridiculous blog is when it posts to Facebook.   If I’m going to insist on writing stupid stuff on occasion, I would like to get a few hits. The only way that happens is if a lot of people see it on Facebook. Keeping it public allows for the possibility of new people reading it.

2. I enjoy seeing random people who are friends of friends liking my posts on Facebook. It is a narcissism thing, I know, but I like to see that my posts are reaching people outside of my circle of friends.

3. I don’t post things I wouldn’t want my boss, mom or pastor(all friends on Facebook) to see. I admit that I do share some articles, mainly by Drew Magary, that have profanity, but I have issues several warnings about those. Besides those, most of my posts are random innocuous thoughts from the weird place that is my head and boring posts about what I’m doing. No reason to hide that.

4. Along those same lines, it makes me thinks about what I post. If I have filters and assume they are working I might feel comfortable posting in anger something I will regret. If I know the whole world could see it it makes me thinks about what I’m about to say. 

5. Last, and most important, I think I’m hilarious and that the world should not be deprived of my humor. Everyone should get a chance to read my posts. Why should my friends be the only ones who get to enjoy the awesome and hilarious Tater?

Facebook…..Again

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I have recently been contemplating seriously reducing the number of “friends” I have on Facebook and setting my updates as friends only. This seemed like a good way not to worry about people being upset about what I post. Then I think “It’s my Facebook. I can post whatever I want and if they don’t like it they can unfriend me”. It’s not like I haven’t been unfriended by numerous people over the years for a variety of reasons. It’s not like being unfriended by most of the people on Facebook would really matter that much to me. This line of thinking makes me wonder if I feel this way, why do I even stay on Facebook? Honest answer – because it is the only place where people see and respond to my ridiculous thoughts and rambling blog posts. Also, because I really do enjoy seeing the photos and status updates of friends and family who live far away, but I will admit that the vanity part is stronger. How else would the 12 readers of my blog know when I post? How else will I know people appreciate my humor. Real life? Not likely. I’m much funnier online. So, I am staying on Facebook and staying public. If you are someone who would rather not read what I post, do us both a favor and unfriend me now. I think we will both survive.

Facebook

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I admit that I am a Facebook addict.  I am a Facebook addict because until recently I could count on my friends to post interesting articles, funny statuses, pictures of themselves doing interesting things, etc. It was also fun at the beginning to keep finding old friends I had not seen in a long time.  This is no longer the case.

I’m sure I do have some friends who are still posting the things that made me love Facebook. I just can’t see them because of the post after post of “inspirational” posters, the click like if you love X posts, the reposts of things debunked by Snopes years ago and other easy, no thought involved posts that seem to take up all of my feed these days.  I’m not sure what changed and when and I don’t want to tell others how to use Facebook. If I don’t like what they post, that is my problem, not theirs. I’m sure plenty of people hate everything that I post over there.  It is, however, killing my love affair with Facebook. I also have apparently found all of the old friends I will likely find. I guess I need to look for other ways to kill time online.

Some Facebook questions

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This was asked on the radio this morning and I am posting here rather than Facebook due to space constraints: How soon is too soon to friend someone on Facebook? The radio question asked specifically about friending someone after a first date, but in general, how soon is too soon to search someone and friend them on Facebook? Do you think it’s a little creepy for someone you just met to look you up on Facebook and send a request? Do you feel obligated to say yes?

Another part of the discussion was about work. If someone new starts at your organization do you friend them immediately? Do you feel obligated to say yes if it is someone from work? Do you immediately say no if it someone from work? How about family? Do you feel obligated to say yes to requests from family members, even distant ones? Do you feel differently about requests from high school and/or college friends?

My answer has evolved over time. When I first signed on to Facebook I didn’t decline many friend requests. If I had ever met the person, I would say yes. I didn’t see the harm in it. As I have been on Facebook, this has changed. I don’t say yes to a request from someone I have met, but with whom I have no personal connection. I don’t say yes just because we work together. Actually, these days I am more likely to say no to someone from work unless they are someone with whom I would socialize after work. I generally say yes to family members, even if I barely know them. I will say yes to high school and college people if I can actually remember who they are. I can’t answer the dating question. I think my wife would not approve of me dating.

I Just Met You, and This is Crazy, but I’m on Facebook, Friend Me Maybe?

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But seriously, don’t.  I was thinking about the concept of Facebook “friends” last night. Facebook says I have 443 friends. Facebook lies. I can count the number of actual friends I have on one hand and have at least one finger left over to pick my nose. I have “friends” on Facebook I don’t even like. If you think I am talking about you in that last sentence, you are probably right and you should just unfriend me now.  I probably need to go through and get rid of the people I’m friends with who don’t interact with me regularly and who I don’t really remember at all. That would leave me with a nice manageable 25 or so friends, I think.

I get friend requests every now and then from people who can’t possibly know me. I know I don’t have a clue who they are even though we have some mutual friends. I don’t get it. Why do we need to be Facebook friends just because we work together, went to the same school or are  distantly related? I mean, I get why you want to be friends with me. I’m funny. You, on the other hand, not so much. Follow me on Twitter of Friendfeed if you want, but I think I want Facebook to be a more personal place. Random strangers and acquaintances don’t need to see my vacation photos I post and I don’t care about theirs.  I don’t want to worry about random coworkers misinterpreting my posts and thinking they are about work. Here’s a tip: I rarely post about work.  So, if you send me a request and I deny it or if you see we are no longer “friends”, it may actually be because I despise you, but more likely it is because I don’t really know you.

 

Lemming Nation

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The current craze on Facebook is changing your profile picture to a cartoon character because somehow that will draw attention to the problem of child abuse.  Actually, the new trend might be people reposting a rumor that the cartoon picture thing is a scam by pedophiles to somehow lure kids in with pictures of cartoons.

This is nothing unusual. My feed is usually filled with reposts of status updates about sisters, brothers, moms, 3rd cousins twice removed or whatever random relative someone has decided to “honor” that week.  These are then reposted by half the people on their friends list.  Possibly more active are the status updates that basically tell you that you are not a true Christian if you don’t copy and repost a status update about your belief in God.

Away from Facebook, there are the fun emails forwarded from friends and family about scary, untrue news stories easily debunked by a trip to snopes.  Unfortunately, no one takes this time because they must follow the command to forward this to all of your friends.

I don’t get any of this.  Why copy and paste these status updates or forward the emails?  Why change your profile picture for some random internet meme?  Are we all just lemmings now who follow along because it’s easier than actually having a distinct personality or thinking for ourselves? Do we think people will think less of us if we don’t do it? Do people think I hate kids because my profile picture is not a cartoon character?  Do people question my faith because I don’t repost religious statuses? Do I care(I don’t)?