Pondering Life’s Important Questions

As I wait for it to be time to go to work I ponder these deep questions:

Why is everything at Giant Foods normal sized?

Can you buy half and half and Whole Foods?

Can you drink Naked Tea while clothed?

Is a female paparazzi a mamarazzi?

Can I drink Honest Tea while telling a lie?

How do the streets with no outlets get electricity?

Why are there signs on highway entrances banning animals on foot when animals can’t read?

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Am I allowed to record The Today Show and watch it tomorrow?

Related – Can I record the Tonight Show and watch it in the morning?

If the men working are slow why not hire faster workers instead of just posting signs telling us they are slow?

When you post as sign the says Now Hiring Friendly People does that mean everyone you hired before was unfriendly?

These questions might be responsible for my lack of sleep at night.

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