Losing Friends on Facebook

About a month ago, a friend on Facebook posted that she was going to unfriend people she considered hypocrites for speaking out against the Capitol riots and not on the Black Lives Matters protests. Or something like that. I can no longer see the post because very soon after that post she was no longer my friend on Facebook. In this case, it’s easy to know why she unfriended me. It was easy to see that she unfriended me because I went to look for something she had posted around the same time and saw we were no longer friends. I discovered soon after that when I posted something in a Facebook group for my high school class that I was no longer friends with a couple more people from high school/ I have no idea when or why they unfriended me. I have downloaded an app now that tells me who unfriended me because I think it will be interesting to track when it happens to see if I can guess why. Since downloading the app, I’ve lost one more friend. This time it as someone I only vaguely knew via library stuff. I’m assuming in this case it was just them cleaning up their friend list and random “no longer librarian” didn’t make the cut.

Being unfriended is nothing new to me. I’ve lost several friends over the years and I can guess in a lot of cases why. Here are some I know of:

One friend from college who got mad when I didn’t reply to a comment he made on a post. He then posted a comment telling me if I was going to ignore him he would unfriend me. After that, it was pretty much 100% I was never going to reply/ We are no longer Facebook friends.

Another college acquaintance I met at a religious organization. We were playing some Facebook game from long ago where it asked random questions to friends. The one that came up for me to send to him was “have you ever had an STD?” He said I needed better questions and then was no longer my Facebook friend.

Another person from the same place that has friended and unfriended me a couple of times. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect I’m not “Christian” enough in my posts for her.

A high school friend who unfriended me during the 2016 election when it was clear I was very anti-Trump.

Other have unfriended me over the years without a clear cut reason. I assume it’s because they cant handle so much awesome.

I don’t generally unfriend people. I did do a purge at one point where I started unfriending people from work who were not actual friends. The theory was that I was going to go completely private, but then halfway through I gave up and stayed public. I unfriended two people from high school who were way into conspiracy stuff and posted after mass shootings that they were false flag operations and the victims ere crisis actors. I didn’t want to ne connected to people who would post that. I generally just unfollow people rather than unfriend them. Sometimes I mute them for 30 days first and then unfollow if they are still posting what annoys me. I unfollow some people for posting so much that my entire feed is them. I rarely unfriend.

Have you lost friends on Facebook due to politics or other disagreements?

Do you unfriend people you disagree with?

I Watch TV So You Don’t Have To: Clarice

We finally got around to watching Clarice this week. The good thing about being late is that we had two episodes to watch instead of just the premiere. The show takes place one year after the events of Silence of the Lambs. Clarice is still dealing with PTSD from the events when the US Attorney General, who is the mother of the woman Clarice rescued from Buffalo Bill, sends her to join VICAP(Violent Criminal Apprehension Program). The leader of the team is not a fan and by the second episode has asked for her to be transferred off the team.

I am not someone who has a deep love of the movie Silence of the Lambs. I barely remember it. I didn’t watch the TV show Hannibal. I’m coming into this with a very basic knowledge of the source material. My thoughts are not based on how I feel it reflects any of that.

The cast is great. I really like Rebecca Breeds in the lead role. Michael Cudlitz is good as the boss who I’m sure will slowly warm to her methods. Lucca de Oliveira is good as Tomas, the member of the team who welcomes her from the start. Kal Penn isn’t given much to do in the first couple of episodes. I hope he gets more to do soon.

It is really just another CBS procedural with Clarice dropped in to boost exposure. The first episode is the investigation into the murders of two women found in a river. Clarice figures out it is more than just a standard serial killer and goes against her boss when he tells her to tell the media they caught the killer and it is over. I assume this story will come back again over the first season In the second episode, the team goes to Tennessee to help with a siege at a compound. Clarice is supposed to only help on the fringes, but that changes when the leader in the compound will only talk to her. It looks like it will be a case of the week procedural where Clarice is always able to solve the case alone using methods other people don’t understand.

It is a decent enough show if you like procedurals. I’m not sure the Silence connection is enough to draw in fans of the movie. The show would be better served to become more of an ensemble show rather than the Clarice show. There is a great cast being wasted just doing reaction shots to Clarice’s expertise. Clarice can still be the center, but make it more like House. She’s a genius, but the team works with her to help her get to the point where she solves the crime. I also think the fast they move away from the “she’s the person who stopped Buffalo Bill” the better. The last thing the show needs is to encourage the comparison to the movie.

Verdict – Give it a shot. View it as a procedural TV show and not a sequel to the movie

Off Schedule

My life as it is now does not require setting an alarm. I have no particular time I need to be awake. My wife works from home and does not set an alarm that wakes me up. I generally still wake up relatively early. I consider it sleeping in if I sleep until 7am. During the first stretch of this new normal, I woke up by 6am and sometimes earlier. I would have my coffee and read the paper. I would do my daily morning crossword and Spelltower puzzles. I would have a post written for the blog by 8am. I would be dressed and making an attempt at the long form writing way before 9am. With this schedule, I felt like by 2pm I was at a point that I was done for the day. It was a nice schedule. I didn’t feel stressed. I had some sort of routine.

Lately, though, I have been a bit off. Part of this is due to the dog sleeping downstairs a lot and not waking me up early. I’ve gone from waking up around 6am to waking up between 6:30and 7. By the time I’ve had coffee with the paper and my puzzles, it can be pushing 8. I would generally do my blog post then, but I also want to be done with my shower and getting dressed to be out of the way of my wife getting dressed since she has an actual schedule. So, now I’m not getting started on writing anything until 8:30 or so. Some days, I barely get something published by 9. I know that generally if I don’t post by 9 my views drop considerably. So, now I have the stress of trying to get something written in less time than the norm. I already write too fast and don’t edit enough when blogging, so this is not optimal. It is after 9 before I even think about any other writing. Yet, I still get to the point by 2 that I am done.

My therapist has recommended I try yoga. I thought it would be easy to fit it into my schedule. Now, with the new normal, it is harder to find that time. I know I will be more likely to do it in the morning, but I have trouble doing it now for a couple of reasons. One, I already feel behind schedule so adding something else in is hard. Two, if I wait too late my wife is awake and will eventually cone downstairs, likely with a meeting on speaker, to get breakfast and it is disruptive. I have failed at getting that into my routine.

I’m thinking I might need to start setting an alarm so I wake up at a time that will make me feel like I’m on schedule for the day.

What’s Good in Tater Town 2/21/21

This was my birthday week so the good will mostly revolve around food. Still some free food coming. Here’s the good.

  1. Monday was a federal holiday so I used that as an excuse to relax more.
  2. Dinner with both kids Monday night.
  3. Free Starbucks drink and Panera pastry for breakfast Tuesday
  4. I spent my birthday afternoon catching up on WandaVision.
  5. Free Mission BBQ for dinner Tuesday.
  6. Free Dunkin drink Wednesday morning.
  7. My MIL got her second dose of the vaccine.
  8. Free Firehouse subs sandwich for dinner Wednesday night.
  9. For some strange reason the blog had over 300 views over a couple of days at the end of the week.
  10. Kentucky beat Tennessee yesterday.

That’s it for this week. Looking forward to some warm days coming soon.

Saturday Funnies

I enjoy posting funny pictures I find in Twitter or Facebook. When I first started my Tater Facebook page as a joke I used it to post these random pictures. Here are some of my favorites.

No thank you
Manhole is a funny word
Remind me not to visit Kansas City
A twist on a classic
It is a dilemma
Pretty good price for a majestic ass one
Font matters
What I wanted to say every day before I quit my job
Valentines Day packages

Happy Saturday

My Week in Books, Movies, and TV 2/19/21

It’s been a week with a Monday holiday, a birthday and an ice storm. I used this as an excuse to do more reading and TV watching. Next week I guess I will have to go back to a more productive life. Here is my week in reading and viewing.

Movies – We completely forgot that we planned to watch Hillbilly Elegy last weekend. Instead, we ended up with the DVD of Love and Monsters. My daughter loves Dylan O’Brien so it immediately jumped to the top of the list. It is set in a world where bombing an asteroid heading to earth caused radiation to come down and mutate cold blooded animals into giant monsters. O’Brien’s character, Joel, is separated from his girlfriend when they both flee with their families. Seven years later the military and the biggest of the monsters have killed each other off and there are small communities of humans surviving underground. When Joel discovers his girlfriend is alive and in a community 80 miles away, he embarks on a journey aboveground to find her. If you don’t think too hard about the premise, it is a fun movie. O’Brien is good as always. It veers from the expected a few times and doesn’t have a neat, happy ending. I would recommend it.

TV – I watched two new shows this week: Young Rock and Kenan. You can read my reviews of them here. We watched some shows that our daughter watches with us. Superstore, American Housewife, and All Rise. All Rise and Superstore are two of the shows that are doing a better job of handling being set in the pandemic. They aren’t perfect, but they are much better than most other shows. I used the afternoon of my birthday to catch up on WandaVision since my family seemed uninterested. I was happy that episode four started to move more into a Marvel type story and wasn’t just the weird old sitcom story. We are still working through our DVR’ed shows. We generally make it through two or three a night. We start after the 7PM airing of Jeopardy(I’m going to miss Ken next week) and I generally give up and go to bed around 10. Soon I’m afraid I will reach a critical level with DVR space.

Books – I finished two books this week

Serpentine by Jonathan Kellerman – This is the latest in the Alex Delaware series. In this one Milo is asked to take on a very cold case when a wealthy woman pulls strings to get it reopened. It is the case of a woman found with a bullet in her head in a car crashed off the hills on Mulholland Drive. It seems like an unsolvable case, but as they investigate they find too many coincidences and discover someone is trying to stop the investigation. I love the Delaware novels and this one is as good as the rest. Milo and Alex are a good investigative duo. Old favorites pop up in supporting roles. The mystery is a good one. I would recommend it, but I’m also a “read in order” guy, so go start from the beginning of the series.

Apple: Skin to the Core by Eric Gansworth – This was one of the award winners from the ALA Youth Media Awards. It is a memoir in verse. Gansworth tells the story of his life growing up on the Tuscarora reservation in New York. He also tells a little about his grandparents being sent to boarding school as kids to learn to be more like white people. I really wanted to like this more Kind of like I really wanted to like the one fiction book of his I read more than I did. He has a moving story, but unlike other books in verse, this one just didn’t draw me in at all. I was bored a lot. I probably should have given up on it and moved on to something that I found more appealing. I’m not sure what the people who gave it a Printz Honor Award saw in it.

On Deck – We have Honest Thief on DVD. A Liam Neeson action movie. My wife’s favorite. I might sleep through it. Eventually, my son will give me Tenet back and I will watch it and get it back to the library. I really want to watch Judas and the Black Messiah, but I don’t think it will happen this week. I will watch the newest episode of WandaVision today or tomorrow. Snowfall starts back this week, so I will have one more show I watch alone. I would like to try Clarice this week so we can decide if I need to keep recording it. I will continue my re-watch of Greek. I am reading This is My Brain in Love by I.W. Gregario.

Death and Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh died of lung cancer yesterday. My Twitter and Facebook feeds were full of people who were giddy about his death. They didn’t like him. They thought he was a terrible person. They were glad he was dead. They made jokes. It was a great day. This is not a defense of Rush Limbaugh. I didn’t like him. I will admit that back in the early 90;s when I spent all day in my car delivering papers in downtown Cincinnati I would sometimes listen to his show. I found that music all day didn’t work for me so I rotated through various talk radio shows until the comedy radio show I liked started. Sometimes I would land on Rush. I didn’t agree with him and spent time yelling at the radio. I stopped listening the day he called homeless people human debris. I know he promoted a lot of terrible views and there is a good reason for people not to like him. My question is – Is it really ever OK to celebrate someone’s death?

I have mixed feelings on this. I think it was generally considered acceptable to celebrate the death of Bin Laden. I think celebrating the death of Hitler was OK. They were terrible people who were behind atrocities and the deaths of a lot of people. Charles Manson? Jeffrey Dahmer? Ted Bundy? I think most people would be OK with celebrating the death of a serial killer. What about other members of the Manson family? People who did bad things but seemed to change once they were no longer under Manson’s influence? Still a celebration? Do we celebrate the death of people who committed other terrible crimes short of murder? Does it depend on the circumstance or how close the crime was to you? Is it really a good thing to celebrate the death of someone because they promoted hateful ideas on the radio? And celebrate publicly? In some cases, seemingly stalk pages online so you can comment on other people’s comments to make sure they know you hated him and are glad he is dead?

I’m not claiming any high ground here. I’m just saying that I am not a fan of seeing post after post of people giddy about the death of anyone. In this case, I also think about the fact that I have family members who post hate filled posts on Facebook. Terrible, racist stuff. I have unfollowed them so I don’t see it and I am embarrassed that they are part of my family. I would hate to see people celebrating if they died because of this. I’m sure there are people in Limbaugh’s family in the same boat. They hated what he said and promoted on air, but he was family and people are saying we should all be glad he is dead. It just doesn’t seem right.

Do you think it is OK to celebrate the death of Rush?

Is it ever OK to celebrate anyone’s death?

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I Watch TV So You Don’t Have To: Young Rock and Kenan

Welcome to the first of a possible regular feature where I do a really bad job reviewing new TV shows. This will be good for me as I can then tell my wife that my afternoons watching TV is “for work.” Also, when I say new it might just mean new to me. I am sometimes behind in watching shows. Today, I watched the two new BC shows that premiered last night: Young Rock and Kenan.

Young Rock

The premise – The Rock is running for president in 2032 and is being interviewed by Randall Park about his life.

We see snippets of three time periods: elementary school Rock who just wants to hang with his dad and his friends, high school Rock who wants to fit in in high school where his classmates think he’s a narc because he looks like an adult, and college Rock who is on the football team at Miami I enjoyed each of the different eras. All three actors do a good job as a young Rock. I was a fan of wrestling when I was a kid, so I really enjoyed the elementary school part with versions of Andre the Giant and The Iron Sheik. I wish any one of the eras was the show. As it stands it feels like four shows in one with current Rock cut in between the other three. I hope later episodes focus on one era at a time with limited cut ins to current Rock. It has potential to be a decent show, but it could also turn into a mess where we never get a full story in one show.

Kenan

The premise: – Kenan is a widower with two young daughters. Don Johnson is his father in law who has moved in to help. Chris Redd is his brother who also loves with them.

The first episode deals with Kenan’s inability to deal with his grief. He hosts a morning talk show and his inability to deal with his grief is affecting the show and its ratings. We meet the kids, the father in law, the brother and the people at work. We see a clip of when he met his wife when she played his mom on a TV show even though she was only three years older than him. It is pretty It is pretty much a standard sitcom. The good news is I still like standard sitcoms of they are actually funny and this one was funny enough to keep me watching. As in SNL, Kenan is funny even when given lesser material. The ensemble is great. I like Johnson and Redd. Kimrie Lewis was in one in Single Parents, a show canceled way too soon and I’m happy to see her back as Kenan’s boss. I have faith that Kenan will deliver laughs each week and that’s what I’m looking for in a sitcom.

Another Year of Tater

I turned 52 yesterday. Does that mean this is the beginning of year 53 of Tater? I think so?

Last year I wrote a post about being on the other side of 50 and things I wanted to change. I looked at that post this morning and I think I did pretty good even though most of my year was in the midst of a pandemic. Here is a look back at that and then a look forward to Tater at 52.

51 for me is time to find a career where I can be content until my career days are over. – Still a work in progress. Eventually I will go back to a job. I don’t know yet what that job will be.

51 for me is the time to stop letting others steal my joy. – Still a work in progress. I did cut ties with the people that were the biggest issue, but I still let people have way too much control over my joy.

51 for me is the time to cut ties with people and places who don’t respect me and my contributions. – Done! 25 years in a place where I brought innovative programming. leadership and loyalty and got nothing(but a paycheck) in return. 25 years of seeing less qualified people promoted over me. 25 years and they show no concern when I bring major issues to HR. 25 years of being a replaceable, unimportant cog. All over. I am now 2 months removed from a very toxic work environment and life is good.

51 for me is the time to forget the fear of the unknown and take that leap. – I took the leap into the unknown. It’s still scary. I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know what the future holds for me. I’m sure at some point I will admit defeat on the writing and get a job. I just don’t know what that will be.

So, looking forward to Tater at 52. What will that bring?

Hopefully, within the first half of the 52 I will get the vaccine and life will return to something close to normal.

I will do my best to complete whatever my memoir will look like even if I know it will never be published.

I will spend some time trying to find other writing opportunities.

I will find ways to volunteer and give to those less fortunate.

I will figure out what my next step is career-wise Back to libraries? Substitute teacher? Grocery store? Gig work like Door Dash? Substitute teacher seems like a good choice. Some control over schedule, holidays and summers off.

Tater at 52 is a transition year. Transitioning from pandemic to post-pandemic. Transitioning from unemployed to employed. Transitioning to a new way of life. I need to be willing to give myself time and grace.

Here’s hoping for a much better year than the last one.

Happy Pandemic Birthday To Me

It’s my birthday again. Seems to happen every year around this time. Funny how that works. This is my first and hopefully last one in the midst of a pandemic. Last year we were still a month away from everything locking down. My wife’s birthday is four days before mine, so we generally only do one dinner out if we do one at all. Most years we just get our free sandwiches from Firehouse Subs Last year we went to a nice seafood place on the water since she was celebrating a milestone birthday. Two years ago for my 50th we went to a place in DC I’ve always wanted to try. This year will be back to our norm of not doing anything too exciting.

Here is my plan for my pandemic birthday:

I’ve been up for over an hour already. Had coffee. Read the paper. Watched All American.

Read for a bit this morning.

Take the dog for a walk whenever the blinds people show up to install the last of the blinds. i can’t believe my wife scheduled it for my birthday.

Get my free drink from Starbucks for an afternoon treat. Possibly also pick up my free pastry from Panera at the same time.

Find a movie to watch while drinking my Starbucks.

Maybe read some more while waiting for my wife to finish work for the day.

Not sure what dinner will be. Maybe a free Mission BBQ sandwich. Maybe a free Firehouse Subs sandwich. Maybe something at home.

Watch recorded TV shows until I’m too tired to stay awake.

Not a real exciting birthday. Normally the day off would be a good thing, but this year it will seem like every other day. Maybe next year I will throw myself a party.