When Anxiety Attacks

My anxiety levels have been a bit high for a couple of weeks now. It has also been combined with me being in a very low mood as well. This week has not helped.

Here are the dumb things I’m stressed about.

The wheel fell off my lawn mower last week. I think I will need to take it somewhere to get it replaced. My wife is gone and with her the car that could transport the mower. My grass is tall, but not so tall that it looks bad. If it gets too bad I can borrow a mower or pay someone to do it. Still, I’m stressed about not being able to just mow without involving others.

A neighbor offered to look at the mower to see if he can fix the wheel but I hate accepting help, so I declined. I’m stressed that he will keep asking and I will feel uncomfortable about it.

I broke my wife’s Coke soap dispenser yesterday when I was cleaning the bathroom. It looks like it could be glued easily and, if not, I found several replacements available online. I called and told her so she wouldn’t be surprised when she gets home. I’m still stressed about when she sees it broken in person.

I’m stressed about extra people in the house and never knowing who will be here and when.

I’m stressed and depressed about my wife being gone two weeks in a row.

I’m stressed and depressed about once again feeling like an outsider at the farm when there are meetings/training.

I’m sad that it looks like the one thing I was looking forward to this weekend might get rained out.

I’m stressed that my writing time is affected by the extra people and I’m finding it harder to write anything these days.

Soon I will be stressed about travel.

I need a nap and maybe some bourbon.


10 thoughts on “When Anxiety Attacks

  1. Can you talk to your therapist about your rising levels of anxiety and depression? Or are you limited to a particular day and time, and no random “emergency” times? I’m getting a little concerned, especially because your family is apparently not aware of what’s going on with you because you don’t say anything to them. Chalk it up to me being a senior citizen and a long-distance mother and grandmother who worries more than she should but can’t help it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. We mow our lawn with a push mower, and the wheels have given out from time to time. Fortunately, we have found the replacement wheels online. Ours are fairly easy to swap out. I get the frustration of not being able to mow from when I had eye surgery a few years back. We have a fellow in our development who has a part-time mowing business, and he helped us out for a couple of weeks then. We also have a neighbor who only mows his yard like four times a year. Believe me, your yard looks wonderful compared to it!

    Liked by 1 person

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