Don’t Should Yourself

My therapist says that to me a lot because I tend to say “I should” a lot when talking about something. I should myself a lot. Here are some cases.

I should force the writing and post something more than my TV post today.

I should do that before 9 because I should say on a schedule.

I should mow today even though I’m tired and would rather take a day to rest.

I should get stuff done around the house instead of reading even though I just finished a 5-hour barn shift.

I should stay late at the barn on Fridays to help with the mid-morning feed even though I’m supposed to leave before it starts.

I should stay busy instead of resting because others will judge me for not being “busy” enough.

I should finish every book for every book club every month even though no one else in either club has always read every book every month.

I should skip my coffee at Panera because I’m later than my self-inflicted, unnecessary schedule says I should leave.

I should care what other people think about me even when they are wrong.

I need to learn to not should myself.


10 thoughts on “Don’t Should Yourself

  1. The only “shoulds” we should worry about are the things that, if not accomplished, would be detrimental in some way. I “should” myself a lot too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post. I recently read somewhere that changing the “should” to “want” makes a difference. “Should” comes with judgement, our own and what we think other people think of us or might think of us. “Want” flips the script in our head. And I think it also can help weed out what “shoulds” are not “wants”, if that makes sense. I’m trying to think this way when I go about my days. Maybe you could too?

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  3. I hear you! My therapist once told me I was going to “should-a, would-a, could-a” myself into an early grave if I didn’t quit. As Rhonda says above, those “shoulds” carry and inherent judgment that is not good for our mental well being. I am going to try to say “want to” instead…I think that is brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh yeah – the shoulds, the ought tos, they’re all something we could do without in our life 🙂 But so easy to slip into that way of thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

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