Stuck in Schedule Mode

I didn’t have anything I had to do yesterday. It is the one day of the week when I have never had a barn shift.

My wife was out of town so I was alone until my daughter woke up late in the day. I planned to go to Panera, get coffee, finish my book, and then go to my two libraries to return and pick up books.

I woke up later than I normally do so I was off of my normal morning routine from the start. My month-in-books post took longer to write than I expected.

I usually plan to get to the library soon after it opens. There is no reason for that. I’m just up early and figure I might as well get it done. When I hit publish on the post I thought “It’s a little late. Maybe I should just skip Panera today.”

I had no reason to be at the libraries at a certain time. I had all day to do what I wanted with no time constraints. Yet, I still thought about skipping my coffee at Panera because I was “late”

I didn’t. I still went to Panera. I got my coffee. I finished my book. I got gas. And I still got to the library soon after it opened. I would have stayed at Panera longer, but I was done with my book and bored.

One thing I have never figured out after my library life is how to live without a schedule or the need to feel like I was productive enough.

I feel like people are judging me if I don’t have something I can say I accomplished every day. And reading a book doesn’t count.

I stick to needless schedules for no good reason. Why not go to the library later in the day? I could leave when my daughter leaves for school at 5. I would still accomplish the same thing.

Why only write at certain times of the day? Why not write in the afternoon or evening if no one else is at home?

Why not have a day when I have absolutely nothing on my schedule?

I think we are all conditioned all of our lives that productivity is priority number one and it is very hard to break out of that mindset.


9 thoughts on “Stuck in Schedule Mode

  1. Reading most definitely counts as an accomplishment! My daily schedule goes something like this: make coffee, do my online reading of various things, make and eat breakfast, decide what to do. Throughout the day, I try to be active every hour (with my Fitbit, that means getting at least 250 steps in, but I aim for 1000, from 7 am through 7 pm). Some days I have specific things scheduled, but that’s very little. I’ve learned that my reading and needlework are valid accomplishments.

    Liked by 2 people

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