This is a whiny, poor me post. Feel free to skip and come back tomorrow when I will be back to just being boring.
I am feeling very distant from everything these days for a variety of reasons. Most of them are the result of choices I made.
Part of the distance has always been there. I live over 600 miles away from where I grew up and over 500 miles away from where I went to college. A good number of my family and friends still live in that area. I see my siblings twice a year when we go back for a visit. Everyone else has become a face I see on social media.
I used to be very involved in a local church. For a variety of reasons, we opted to change churches. All of the people I saw regularly there are also just faces I see on social media. I attend church every Sunday, but I am not involved at all outside of that. I’m a face people see and recognize, but I’m not really a part of the life of the church.
I left the library over a year ago. I really felt the distance this week when I heard the news that someone from the library passed away unexpectedly over the weekend. Had I not stopped by the library to pick up a book Monday morning I likely would never have known unless I stumbled upon the news on Facebook. I missed the memorial service for someone else from the library world because I am no longer in a place where I hear about such things.
Besides church, the only people I see outside of my family are the people at the barn and the people in the local book club I joined. I see them when I am at the barn or book club. We aren’t friends. I don’t see them outside of this. We aren’t friends on social media. It wouldn’t make a difference in their lives, the barn, or the book club if I left.
Tater, once removed is generally forgotten.
The World's Common Tater 
You’re not forgotten. This is unfortunately part of the new climate we exist in…be on social media 24/7 because posts are universal…human contact isn’t
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It feels forgotten
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I get it
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I know! Year ago in my sociology class my teacher said there will be a day when people will take classes on how to relate and have social skills. I know people who take classes to learn how to play with their children. This is an interesting and confusing experiment. COVID that is.
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We all need help!
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I think the barn people would miss you, based on what you’ve been doing and how they have been learning your strengths. If you participate during meetings, the book club would miss you. I’m wondering whether you could be more active in your church. (I don’t remember what you’ve said about this before.) Does any of your family ever travel east to visit you? Have you asked anyone? Even just one or two of them would help with your connectedness. I too feel disconnected at times because of assorted things I did before COVID, and then moving out to the country, that I can no longer do.
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I could be more active in the church. I could also consider going go one where I feel more welcome to be involved.
My family has come to visit 3 times in the 25+ years ive lived here.
The barn has waves of new volunteers every couple of months. My spot could be filled easily.
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See Tater….
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I can relate to how you feel. I grew up north of Seattle, went to the UW and moved to Palm Springs. I lived there for 30 years and now moved to a new state. I’m starting over and it’s not easy.
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You are not forgotten. I look for your posts everyday. It’s a slump and I think LA is right.
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Thanks. I’m sure I will eventually stop with my doom thinking
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I do it too. And it’s such a relief when it stops. It’s just when it’s there it seems it will last forever. I feel you on it, I just can’t really say anything that will help.
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