Why Do I Write?

I wrote not too long ago about how I struggle to not get caught up in stats here and on Medium.

This morning I read a post on Deb’s Dispatches asing if having a blog is attention seeking.

My therapist asks me about my writing each week and we talk about how writing makes me feel.

So, today I investigate the why of my writing.

Why Did I Start My Blog in the First Place?

I started this blog a long, long time ago in a jail not that far away. I worked completely alone four days a week. I started looking for ways to feel less alone. That’s when I joined Facebook, Twitter, and the now dead FriendFeed. I was on an email list called The Book Barn back when those were a thing. I started the blog as part of all of that. At the time, I thought I would use it to write about library stuff, but soon realized I worked for assholes who would probably fire me if they disagreed with what I wrote. So, I started the writing to feel less alone.

Am I In It For The Money?

I will admit that when I started writing on a more regular basis that I hoped I would figure out how to make money from it. I quickly realized that I would not. Now I hope to make enough on Medium each month to make back my $5 membership fee. If I could figure out how to make money doing this I would definitely do it.

Am I In It For The Attention?

Maybe a little bit. It makes me happy when I look at my stats and see so many people reading my dumb little blog. It makes me happy to see people from various countries reading it. I like when I post it on social media and people there comment on it. I want a post to go viral. It’s the reason I wish I could be good at other things like Tik Tik and podcasts. There is a part of me that wants a little bit of fame.

I once posted on Facebook that I didn’t care about people liking my posts, but that was a lie. I think anyone who is on social media, has a blog, has a podcast, etc. who says they don’t care about stats and attention is either lying to themselves or the world. There has to be a little part of you that wants the views, the likes, the listens to even bother doing this in the first place.

But How Does It Make Me Feel?

It varies For the most part, I love writing. I like the hours I spend in the morning writing my TV post and then whatever random post I do after that. I like writing in response to the book prompts on Medium. If I could keep myself from getting stressed about it I would probably enjoy making another attempt at a book about my time in jail.

Some days, though, it sucks. Some days I can’t find the words. Some days I want to write something, but I can’t get it right and I delete multiple attempts at a post. Some days I post something here or on Medium and no one reads it and I get sad or frustrated and consider giving up.

Some days I like what I write, Some days I hate it. Some days the writing I hate gets tons of views and the writing I like is ignored.

Are You Ever Going To Answer The Question In The Title?

So, why do I do it?

Because even on the days when I delete multiple posts and want to give up I feel the need to write something.

Because even though I generally feel like my writing sucks, it is still something that I enjoy.

Because I get more joy from this than I ever got from my crappy job.

Because it makes me feel good when I look at my stats and see people are reading what I write.

Because I enjoy the interaction I get here on the blog.

Why do you write?


8 thoughts on “Why Do I Write?

  1. Oh Tater, what a great post you’ve written – way better than the one I wrote, and you’ve written from your heart whereas I wrote from my brain.

    When you can’t not write, you’re a writer for sure. Audience is a different & fickle thing, one so many if us struggle with, but we keep on keeping on ‘cos even on bad days, it’s better than anything else we might do.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Good post! I write sporadically, very sporadically, because I don’t feel compelled. I don’t really enjoy dragging the words out of myself, though people have apparently enjoyed my writing in the past when I did more (blog about stitching because I owned a needlework supplies store, so more an indirect economic reason).

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I wrote because I love words. I love their power and their beauty. I love how a finite number of letters creates a finite number of words, but together they create infinite thoughts, musings, ideas and beauty.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I definitely can relate to your feelings and reasons. When you’re a writer, you can’t NOT write, as someone commented below.

    This post gives me pause. I think I’ll write my own response to your prompt.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

    Btw, your words matter.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Some days the writing I hate gets tons of views and the writing I like is ignored.” I used to let this rile me up as well especially when I get more likes on a written piece of fluff over a complex piece of art. I like likes. But I don’t much care for empty likes or fake followers. I tend to spring clean my followers now and again to weed out inactive users on WP or Bots or Scammers. Being that I could care less if I make $ from blogging My stats aren’t that important to me.

    Liked by 1 person

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