Everything seemed to be going OK. I was settled into a writing routine. I’m inching toward 1000 followers here on WordPress. People are regularly reading my posts. It doesn’t translate into income here. On my best days, I can make maybe 25 cents from Word Ads. I don’t see that ever changing.
To maybe make some money doing this I joined the Medium Partner Program. I imported the posts I thought people would want to read over there. I found out recently that you now need 100 followers to stay in the program. I’ve spent the last two weeks being more active on Medium to get to where I need to be. I’ve gone from 4 followers to 93 in two weeks. I went from earnings of 12 cents last month to over $7 in the past two weeks. Not a lot, but a pretty decent increase.
I was feeling pretty good about where I was. I was considering applying to a couple of places to write book reviews. Again, not a ton of money, but getting paid to do something I’m already doing. My confidence was at a place where this seemed doable.
Then last night happened. Last night should have been another good night. The Braves won the first game of the World Series. I’m starting to actually believe they might win it all. Before the game, though, all of my confidence and thoughts that I was headed in a good direction came crashing down.
I won’t go into detail. but I realized that none of the above matters. At all. It’s just a stupid hobby. A waste of time. An avoidance of living an actual productive life. I’m wasting my time. I’m wasting my life being lazy and pretending like I’m a writer.
I don’t know where I go from here. I guess I need to consider reentering the library world.