Most nights I don’t remember my dreams. Sometimes I wake up feeling unsettled and I assume it was from a dream but I have no recall of the dream itself. Some mornings I wak up with the dream clearly in my head. Today is one of those days and it is lingering.
In the dream, I was in the process of coming to an agreement to join what seemed like a radio show/podcast type of situation. It was never really clear exactly what it was. My dream self was very excited about the possiblity. I’m sure it was a behind the scenes/writing position. At some point in the process, two of the other people involved got into a fight and jeopardized the entire process.
At the same time, it seemed my location wavered between home anf some sort of rental house/hotel. In some parts I was stressed about stuff I needed to do at home and in others I was staying somewhere that had a concierge type person. In one of the hotel parts, I tried to pay for something and all of my criedit cards were denied because of someone buyng random things in Australia. When I said I needed to get a new credit card someone responded that I didn’t need a credit card becasue I had no income and, therefore, should not be spending money.
This happened around the same time as the fight above and dream me was very stressed that he would lose this opportunity and continue to be judged for not making money.
It isn’t hard to interpret where much of this came from. I feel like i’m reaching the point where I will be negatively judged if I don’t go back to a regular job. At the same time, I desperately want to find a way to make money doing something more creative to avoid going back to a “regular” job.
I need to find a way to get my TV stuff I will be writing soon noticed by some of the sites that pay people to write about TV.