It’s Hard Sometimes

I’ve written before about what I call sudden onset melancholy. It is also one of the band names on my list. Those days when I’m just sad without a firm reason for the sadness. On those days, like today, it’s really hard to do much more than sit on the couch under a blanket and do as little as possible. One of those days when my head is full of

Why bother?

What’s the point?

No one cares anyway.

Those days when my head is full of the fact that I have very few people in my circle. When my head tells me if I disappeared I could count the people who would care on one hand and possibly have fingers left over.

Those days when I feel invisible.

Those days when I feel expendable.

Those days when I feel useless.

Those days when I need to give myself a break but instead still do things because I don’t expect anyone to understand how I feel.

Today is a hard day. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.


20 thoughts on “It’s Hard Sometimes

  1. I was not sure if I should have liked the post but pressed like out of habit. I want you to know today is one such day for me as well. I opened my eyes and thought neither of my parents are alive. And thus started my morning.

    Like

  2. I don’t “like” that you are having one of those days…they can be brutal. So I am sending virtual *hugs* and the hope that tomorrow (or even later today) will be better.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I understand exactly how you feel. I’m having one of those days too. Maybe it’s contagious. My mom called them “mung days” and she wouldn’t get dressed but stayed in bed all day. She let my brother and I stay in pjs too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I totally understand. We are all coming out of isolation without the glue that stuck our groups together. I’m looking at it as a time to put myself put myself out there, introduce myself, and start over!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Knowing that everyone is coming out of isolation and feels somewhat socially awkward helps me! Most people are out of practice. I figure that I have nothing to lose by saying hello. It’s funny though. Now that people aren’t wearing masks, if they don’t smile back at me, I give them a wide berth. It should be instinctive. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I do saile and say hello. Just did so with neighbors I saw on my walk. Just don’t know how to take my therapists advice and advance those interactions to something more meaningful

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      3. It’s super hard! My neighbor stopped to talk as he was driving by. After some small talk, he asked if me and my husband would like to come for drinks the following week. A friend sent an email and another DMd me right after I commented on her Instagram. I need to start doing the same thing! It’s been a blast to see people again.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m sorry to hear this. Any time you have one of “those” days, please write about it so we know. I at least am one of those two handfuls of people who wants to know that you’re having a tough time and offer whatever I can that will help you through it. (I’m not sure of my grammar there, and you know how hard that is for me to admit.)

    Liked by 1 person

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