The Down Side of Being Known

I have written about this before. It has reared its ugly head again.

I don’t use my real name on the blog. I have a Facebook page for Tater. The Tater page was not started for the blog. It started as a joke and then was the place I sometimes posted things I didn’t think were fit for public posting(back when I cared about offending people) I thought Tater would be a good way to separate some of my postings from the real me. The problem? It wasn’t just my closest friends who liked the page. My boss at the time liked the page pretty early on in the process. Others I would have rather kept separate also liked the page. There was no anonymity. I didn’t really make an effort to keep it anonymous. I just didn’t expect certain people to like the page.

The blog is much the same. When I first started writing more often WordPress would allow you to set a blog to post automatically to your personal Facebook, so I did. I didn’t keep the blog a secret. I wanted people to read it and in the beginning, the only people reading were the people who saw it on my Facebook. When the rules changed and you could only have posts go automatically to a page, it seemed obvious to make the move to the Tater page. My numbers have shifted dramatically over the past few years. More and more of my views are coming from people who follow me on WordPress. I still get a few views from social media but many of the people who know me in real life no longer read the posts. Some do, though, and I can’t be completely sure who they are unless they like or comment on the post.

This is a problem on days like today. I have two things I would like to write about. Both of these things cast someone I know in real life in a bad light. It’s possible they read the blog. I’m not sure they would know one of them is about them, but one would be about a specific incident and they would definitely know they are in the story, They deserve to be viewed negatively for their part in the story, but I don’t want to deal with the possibility of them or one of their friends reading it and the possible backlash. I shouldn’t worry about it. I have not seen them in person in years. They never engage with me on social media. There is no indication they even remember I exist. Even if they were mad, why would I care? Still, I hesitate. Others would also know who I was talking about. I just don’t feel right about a negative post when so many people would know who the villain in the story is.

So, those two posts will never be written unless I establish another blog that people n my real life don’t know about.

Is your blog anonymous enough that this is not a worry for you? Do your friends and family read your blog? Does it change what and how you write?


21 thoughts on “The Down Side of Being Known

  1. I ran into the same thing Tater. I post mostly funny stories and ridiculous news items. I am not PC in anyway, and I offended some people I know, mainly some family. I stopped posting to Facebook, except for my page named after my blog. If we are afraid of offending folks, then we shouldn’t write. Too much good stuff out there to ignore.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ok. I try to be anonymous as I write about people I know quite often. Some of my friends read my posts, but the majority don’t. Most of my readers are people I don’t know irl. I will write about people if they say something stupid. A few months ago we were out to dinner with a guy my husband knows. There’s much I don’t like about this guy (starting with massive anger issues) he made a comment at dinner that everything said is possible blog fodder. But I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t care if I offend people. We offend people every day when most of the time we don’t mean it. And to be fair, if I’m writing about something in a bad light, it means I was offended. Why shouldn’t I write about being offended? Aren’t I allowed to be offended? Though I admit I think someone is not really friendly with my husband because if something I wrote. The thing is, I know this person doesn’t read my blog, but I think they heard it from a mutual “friend”. In this case, I don’t have time for gossip…I know I completely went in a tangent

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The story I was thiking about is a case of someone doing something that offended a lot of people so I don’t know why I care about offending them. I guess I just don’t want the drama that most likely wouldn’t even happen

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have always noticed that you are very polite. Sometimes I make comments and get a few reactions, even a few new followers. I will deal with the fallout as LA says if something goes weirdly wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s exactly the type of post I would DIE to write about! Plus, I also love reading those types of posts too. But I completely understand why you wouldn’t post it since people in your real life know about your blog. I would do the exact same thing in your shoes. Maybe you can message a few trusted people with your story instead of putting it on blast? You still get to write it and get it out of your system, and get some validation from others, but it’s not out there where it could create issues for you. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My blog isn’t anonymous at all. I started with an anonymous blog, but now I’m comfortable with moderating myself. I guess it depends on your purpose of blogging. I do it ‘cos I enjoy the process of writing, and I like to engage with those who read & comment. As I’m the one choosing to write, I’ve made it my policy not to drag other people into it. So I’ll write about me & my experiences, but I’ll not name or shame others. There have been times when my fingers have positively itched though 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  6. How about writing it allegorically? More of a challenge, sure, but it’s an option.

    Is your blog anonymous enough that this is not a worry for you? Do your friends and family read your blog? Does it change what and how you write?

    My blog used to be ‘anonymous enough’: but not so much now that I’ve published my book (with which my real name is associated — although that name is as common as muck, so there’s some anonymity protection there). I try not to let it worry me too much. I also try not to offend people, while being aware that “We offend people every day when most of the time we don’t mean it,” as LA has pointed out. The blogosphere has such a wide catchment that it’s inevitable that someone who vehemently disagrees with me will read what I say (and feel offended by it). They’re always free to click elsewhere. I try not to let it bother me… all the while being conscious of my employer’s policy prohibiting me from publicly criticising my employer.

    I have friends and family that sometimes read my blog (I know that they don’t really agree with a lot of what I say — though it’s often clear that either my delivery is faulty or their reading comprehension skills need improvement, one or the other ;). Sometimes I write things that are obliquely aimed at them (but I try to do so in a way that only they would know) — so in that respect, yes, it does sometimes change what and how I write.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My blog is fairly new, and it’s new for this exact reason. I didn’t want people that I know to know I had this blog. For a dumb reason, really. I didn’t want anyone criticizing my reviews. I didn’t want them saying, “what does she know about makeup and skincare?”. I also created a separate IG and Twitter for my blog as well. In each of my socials, I don’t list my name anywhere. It’s somewhat impersonal, but that’s how it has to be (for now, anyway).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I shut my blog down because of this exact thing…the blog was technically anonymous but I shared on my FB etc. I never named names in my posts but things I said got back to the wrong people and trouble threatened. I’ve felt silenced ever since, and despite re-starting the blog it has knocked my confidence a lot.

    There are also some stories I will never be able able tell, about people who I don’t think even know about my blog but I just can’t take that risk….just in case, you know?

    But I don’t want to re-brand a whole new blog. I like this one. It feels very “me”. So I just sit here like a deer in the headlights not really sure what I’m doing.

    Liked by 1 person

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