Why Can’t We Be Friends?

We were watching the new version of Magnum PI this week and it is leaning closer and closer to the possibility of a romance between Magnum and Higgins. I was watching the show B Positive with my son, but we are very behind. I have seen some mention on the TV sites I follow that they are moving toward a romance between the two leads instead of sticking to a friendship. Television, for the most part, does not seem to think a man and a woman can just be friends. One of the things I enjoy about the show All Rise is that it features a close, platonic friendship between a a man and a woman. The judge and the Deputy District Attorney are long time friends and talk every day about their lives. Lola is married. Mark i in a relationship. There is no indication of romance, past or present. I hope they don’t ruin it and it stays that way. I hate that TV consistently pushes the idea that a man and woman can’t be friends and/or work closely together without developing a romantic relationship.

I’m sure it started before When Harry Met Sally, but that is the big one I remember in the “Can men and women be just friends?” area. Harry and Sally are friends for years and eventually admit they are in love with each other. It does happen. My wife and I were in the same friend group before we were dating. I’ve written before about how my first love was a friend in high school. I never told them how I felt because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship. I’ve also written about how I have always had several female friends. Most of my closer friends have always been women. I’m 100% certain that none of them have secretly been in love with me. A bad thing in high school, but a good thing as an adult. I have been close friends with women. I have worked in places where I was one of the few men in the workplace. I worked closely with women and did not fall in love with them and they did not fall in love with me. I’m sure many other people have had that experience.

Why is it that TV and movies can’t seem to show this as a possibility? Do they think the “will they, won’t they” dynamic makes a show better? Do they think fan will revolt if they ship a couple and they remain friends? Am I wrong and men and women really can’t be just friends? Is every woman secretly in love with me? Am I secretly in love with every woman I know?

Enquiring minds want to know


19 thoughts on “Why Can’t We Be Friends?

  1. I hate when they bring two characters together from friend to romance. Now, I thought the chandler Monica storyline was great, because I think when you’re in your twenties and have a good friend, that actually might happen. There relationship seemed organic. But co workers and such? Completely artificial. We were just talking about A few Good men, and how we were glad that they didn’t have cruise and Moore in a relationship. I think it’s a cheat to do this in a show unless it was clear that this was the premise of the show from the beginning

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I know! It’s not realistic. It means that you can’t exist without a romantic partner and everyone should be coupled up. It means you have no life outside of work

        Liked by 1 person

      2. But….it is not to be expected that you will find your partner on the job. It gets silly on a tv show and detracts from the plot. Unless the plot line was to have them together. It’s a lazy storyline


      3. I know. I met my ex husband at work. But it’s more like, does a crime drama need a romantic relationship or does it ruin the show

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I guess it depends on how realistic the relationship is on the show. If they are always happy that would make for crappy tv to me. But no, men and women should be able to be just friends on any given show. I could point to Frasier in that on that show he never dated his producer Roz.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Growing up I had more guy friends, by my 20’s that ratio flipped. Some women yeah I found attractive but I never pursued romantically. It’s foolish to think anyone can’t be friends with anyone, that goes for sexual orientation as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My best friend since we were babies is a guy, so I’ve dealt with a lot of teasing growing up, and that trope certainly is one I’m annoyed by as it’s everywhere and one that did it apply to me at all in regards to said best friend.
    I’m also someone who always had more guy friends. Friends to lovers can be real and can be great, but I just wish we saw more even representation for just constant platonic friendship without a Will They Won’t They.

    Liked by 1 person

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