Planet of the Apes: The Musical – Apeortunites

A commercial is playing constantly during basketball that uses the lyrics to Opportunities by the Pet Shop Boys. I mentioned on Facebook that for some reason my brain has changed the last lyrics to “let’s make smarter monkeys” for some reason. It’s in my head all the time. I decided to see if I could rewrite the entire song to try to get it out o my head. Here we go.

I’ve got the brains you’ve got the apes
Let’s make smarter monkeys
We’ll make some drugs to enlarge their brains
Let’s make smarter monkeys

I’ve had enough of humans and messing around with jerks
my lab is over there I’m not afraid to work
I’m looking for a partner someone who thinks like me
Ask yourself this question do you want to talk to monkeys

I’ve got the brains you’ve got the apes
Let’s make smarter monkeys
We’ll make some drugs to enlarge their brains
Let’s make smarter monkeys

You can tell I’m educated and you work at the zoo
Let’s teach the monkeys not to throw their poo
I can formulate a formula stimulate their mind
I hope this experiment doesn’t endanger humankind

I’ve got the brains you’ve got the apes
Let’s make smarter monkeys
We’ll make some drugs to enlarge their brains
Let’s make smarter monkeys

Oh if you know when to take them you know
There’s a lot of apeortunities if there aren’t
you can make them (make or break them.)

You can see I’m single-minded I know what they could be
How’d you feel about it if an ape could talk to me
I’m looking for a partner regardless of expense
Think about it seriously you know it makes sense.

I’ve got the brains you’ve got the apes
Let’s make smarter monkeys
We’ll make some drugs to enlarge their brains
Let’s make smarter monkeys

Oh if you know when to take them you know
There’s a lot of apeortunities if there aren’t
you can make them (make or break them.)

I I’ve got the brains you’ve got the apes
Let’s make smarter monkeys
We’ll make some drugs to enlarge their brains
Let’s make smarter monkeys

6 thoughts on “Planet of the Apes: The Musical – Apeortunites

  1. Mrs ESTJ March 23, 2021 / 5:26 pm

    That’s now all I’m going to think about when I hear that song.

    Liked by 1 person

    • theycallmetater March 23, 2021 / 6:08 pm

      The smarter monkeys line has been in my head forever. I’m sorry I did this to you πŸ™‚

      Like

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