Exploring Career Options

All of these look more attractive every day. I’m still working on #6 being an option.

I am contemplating my next step in life and exploring career options. Below are some careers where I think I might at least get a call back for an interview. It’s still iffy as I don’t seem to have marketable skills.

  1. The guy who scoops up roadkill – Bonuses: Outside work, multiple interesting lunch options, always a need for the position.
  2. Shoveling elephant poop at the zoo – Circus is no longer an option as they have retired the elephants. Too bad. I always wanted to run away with the circus. I might have if it wasn’t for all the damn clowns.
  3. Flagger Force – Outside work, but too much responsibility. Daydream too much and you might cause an accident. I’m not ready for that level of accountability.
  4. Spinning ad signs on the side of the road – Too clumsy and no rhythm. I would fail at this job.
  5. Putting flyers on people’s doors – Great for me as long as I’m not expected to talk to people. I’m all done talking to people. Bonuses – outside work, good exercise.
  6. Kept man – I’ve succeeded in the part where I find a woman who makes good money. I have failed at the part where I convince her to pay for everything while I live a leisurely life.
  7. Telemarketer – I’ve done this before and I didn’t suck at it but see above about people.
  8. Professional cheetah walker – I have the experience, but unless the zoo needs one it would require relocation to another continent.
  9. Professional blogger – If you are reading this, you likely know why this is not an option.
  10. Clown – I’m creepy and people don’t like me, so I’m almost there. This might be the winner.

11 thoughts on “Exploring Career Options

  1. Haha this is great!! Remind my of my childhood…for several years, my cousin was insistent that he wanted to scoop monkey poop when he grew up. It’s always sounded like a shitty job to me!

    Good luck locking in your next career! You’re got a killer list going. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Now this….this is funny! I got a good laugh and even had to reread it to the hubby 🙂 You are experiencing empty nest syndrome! Welcome to my club. I lost one bird from the nest and the other is a permanent resident due to special needs. I am however stuck at home, twiddling my thumbs most day and I am basically a “kept woman”. The hubby supports the blogging habit but somewhat resents the time it takes away from catering to his every need. How rude of him to expect that I will actually start doing ironing now that I do not have the career. I have however turned back into the cook that caught his heart. This is the perfect time in life to re-create yourself! what fun 🙂 I love that you just get that!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Love it–and I totally get it. I’ve had thoughts about the roadkill scooper-upper too. I mean, it’s wonderful to feel truly useful and valued, and I really value those guys! (The turkey buzzards might disagree, but whatever.)

    Liked by 1 person

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