All of these look more attractive every day. I’m still working on #6 being an option.
I am contemplating my next step in life and exploring career options. Below are some careers where I think I might at least get a call back for an interview. It’s still iffy as I don’t seem to have marketable skills.
- The guy who scoops up roadkill – Bonuses: Outside work, multiple interesting lunch options, always a need for the position.
- Shoveling elephant poop at the zoo – Circus is no longer an option as they have retired the elephants. Too bad. I always wanted to run away with the circus. I might have if it wasn’t for all the damn clowns.
- Flagger Force – Outside work, but too much responsibility. Daydream too much and you might cause an accident. I’m not ready for that level of accountability.
- Spinning ad signs on the side of the road – Too clumsy and no rhythm. I would fail at this job.
- Putting flyers on people’s doors – Great for me as long as I’m not expected to talk to people. I’m all done talking to people. Bonuses – outside work, good exercise.
- Kept man – I’ve succeeded in the part where I find a woman who makes good money. I have failed at the part where I convince her to pay for everything while I live a leisurely life.
- Telemarketer – I’ve done this before and I didn’t suck at it but see above about people.
- Professional cheetah walker – I have the experience, but unless the zoo needs one it would require relocation to another continent.
- Professional blogger – If you are reading this, you likely know why this is not an option.
- Clown – I’m creepy and people don’t like me, so I’m almost there. This might be the winner.
The World's Common Tater 
Erm. There may be other options.
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Those are all I could think of
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I shoveled horse poo for a while, that was a pretty good job. But, I was not able to live on that income. It’s a shame really, I was pretty good at it. I ended up working as a nurse, cleaning human poo….much less enjoyable.
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Haha this is great!! Remind my of my childhood…for several years, my cousin was insistent that he wanted to scoop monkey poop when he grew up. It’s always sounded like a shitty job to me!
Good luck locking in your next career! You’re got a killer list going. 🙂
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Now this….this is funny! I got a good laugh and even had to reread it to the hubby 🙂 You are experiencing empty nest syndrome! Welcome to my club. I lost one bird from the nest and the other is a permanent resident due to special needs. I am however stuck at home, twiddling my thumbs most day and I am basically a “kept woman”. The hubby supports the blogging habit but somewhat resents the time it takes away from catering to his every need. How rude of him to expect that I will actually start doing ironing now that I do not have the career. I have however turned back into the cook that caught his heart. This is the perfect time in life to re-create yourself! what fun 🙂 I love that you just get that!
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Thanks. I’m glad you thought it was funny. I think I’m hilarious. My wife disagrees…
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Love it–and I totally get it. I’ve had thoughts about the roadkill scooper-upper too. I mean, it’s wonderful to feel truly useful and valued, and I really value those guys! (The turkey buzzards might disagree, but whatever.)
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Reblogged this on The World's Common Tater and commented:
Another Saturday rerun. This one is from a year ago today. Still contemplating these careers.
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This list still seems incomplete. Hahahahahaha.
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