The World's Common Tater

The news is full of information on ways to stay healthy. I thought I would share some things I’ve learned over the past few days. I can’t believe all of the things I was doing wrong. Here are Tater’s Tips. Write them down. They are valuable.

1. The proper thing to do with your hands after using the restroom is not waving them in the air like you just don’t care.
2. In addition to refraining from touching your face, you should also refrain from touching other people’s faces, especially those people you don’t know.
3. You should not clean keyboards by licking them no matter how tasty the crumbs inside look.
4. A vampire sneeze/cough does not mean you should bite someone while sneezing/coughing.
5. Social distancing does not give you permission to physically shove people away.
6. They will call the police.
7. You should refrain from hugging and kissing people. This is also pointed out in the harassment training I am taking at work.
8. Don’t eat or drink after others even if the food they leave behind on the table in the restaurant looks good.
9. Many people will comment about how good this is for introverts. Punching them probably counts as touching their face.
10. They will also call the police.
11. Think of all the germs on the handcuffs.

And there you have it. Tater’s tips for staying healthy. You’re welcome.