My dog woke me up at 5:30 this morning to go out. Normally, I would just stay up at this point, drink coffee and read the newspaper. Today, however, is my late day. I work 1-9 instead of 9-5 so I decided to go back to bed and try to get a little sleep. Unfortunately, my brain kept trying to dwell on work stress and it was a lot of work to try to get it to stop so I could go to sleep.
When I finally dozed, my brain took that opportunity to be a jerk again. In my light doze I dreamed that I was offered the promotion I interviewed for recently. You would think that would be a pleasant dream, but no. Dream brain decided to make me panic and think that I would be bad at the job. Awake, normal brain know that isn’t true. I wouldn’t go for the job if I didn’t think I would be good at the job. I would be great at the job and also the other promotion I will apply for this week. Early morning brain, however, told dream me that I would suck at both jobs. Sleep was not going to happen this morning.
I almost let dream brain give me a crisis of confidence. Maybe I keep getting turned down for promotions because MPOW realizes what I don’t, that I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not even good at the job I have now. Maybe I should have just stayed in jail. Maybe that’s all I’m good at..if I was even good at that. Some of that feeling still lingers. My brain is a jerk.