Tater’s Weird Super Powers

I have a major announcement to make – I have super powers. I was going to say that I am a superhero, but that would be stretching it. I’m no hero and my powers are not good ones and I can’t control them. Here is a non-definitive list of my powers:

Inadvertent control of the weather – If I make plans to do something outside it rains. If I need to do yard work it either rains or it is the hottest, most humid day of the year. If I plan a trip anywhere near winter, it snows. It snows on my birthday weekend every year. It snows more if I take birthday leave that weekend. If you want to know what the weather is going to be, ask me about my plans. This would be a great power if I could control it.

Radio ESP – I routinely have a random song stuck in my head in the morning and then turn on the radio in the car and hear the same song there. I can’t control when this happens and even if I could, it can’t exactly save the world.

Positive Negativity – When I say negative things about my sports teams(or the players) during a game, they do better. It doesn’t always work and tends to fail at the worst time. I have not tried it with random teams.

Street Light Extinguisher – Street lights routinely blink out when I drive by. I guess I could use this for nefarious purposes if I could control it.

Traffic Light Changer – Traffic lights turn yellow as I approach. If I’m early and want to be slower, street lights are all green.

Suggestions for my “Superhero” name welcome.

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