The One Where Tater Thinks He’s Hilarious

One of the things I enjoy about Facebook memories and Timehop is the reminder that I think I’m hilarious. Here are some recent statuses that have popped up and other things I’ve sad that I Can remember:

Wife: Is there a Tuesday Morning in Annapolis? Me: Yes, Once a Week.

When I was a kid smoking crack meant you were standing too close to the fireplace.

Imagine when we were in high school telling someone you poked his sister and wrote on her wall.

I wanted to study abroad in high school, but I never could find one who would let me.

While in Finland – I don’t speak Finnish. I speak start.

I wish I had moves like Jagger, but instead, I got moobs like Meatloaf.

If you can’t figure out how to use a photocopier, you should not be allowed to reproduce.

You might catch flies with honey, but you catch more with bullshit.

I constantly make some sort of “naked” joke when they say a player is dressed for a game.

When my mom would leave the house when I was a kid she would say “If anyone calls I’ll be at the grocery store.” I would respond with “Where will you be if no one calls?”

I once picked up the second phone in the house while my mom was on a call, disguised my voice, pretended to be an operator and insisted she needed to insert more coins to continue the call.

Once, at dinner, someone asked “Do you wanna roll?” and I said “Sure” and then got down on the floor and rolled.

For some reason, no one else agrees with my assessment that I’m hilarious.

Unrelated advertisement – My son is doing a polar bear plunge to support the Chesapeake Climate Action Network. Click the link below to donate!

www.keepwintercold.org/bradley-simpson

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