I am contemplating my next step in life and exploring career options. Below are some careers where I think I might at least get a call back for an interview. It’s still iffy as I don’t seem to have marketable skills.
- The guy who scoops up roadkill – Bonuses: Outside work, multiple interesting lunch options, always a need for the position.
- Shoveling elephant poop at the zoo – Circus is no longer an option as they have retired the elephants. Too bad. I always wanted to run away with the circus. I might have if it wasn’t for all the damn clowns.
- Flagger Force – Outside work, but too much responsibility. Daydream too much and you might cause an accident. I’m not ready for that level of accountability.
- Spinning ad signs on the side of the road – Too clumsy and no rhythm. I would fail at this job.
- Putting flyers on people’s doors – Great for me as long as I’m not expected to talk to people. I’m all done talking to people. Bonuses – outside work, good exercise.
- Kept man – I’ve succeeded in the part where I find a woman who makes good money. I have failed at the part where I convince her to pay for everything while I live a leisurely life.
- Telemarketer – I’ve done this before and I didn’t suck at it but see above about people.
- Professional cheetah walker – I have the experience, but unless the zoo needs one it would require relocation to another continent.
- Professional blogger – If you are reading this, you likely know why this is not an option.
- Clown – I’m creepy and people don’t like me, so I’m almost there. This might be the winner.