One Year Later

Usually apps like Timehop and the Facebook “On this Day” are fun. Today, it was not. It has been one year since my mom lost her battle with cancer.  I wasn’t sure I would write anything today. I thought about doing a funny post to avoid the sad, but it seems like it would be better for me to write about it.

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It has been a tough year.  In addition to losing my mom, I changed jobs, we are in the process of college applications for our youngest kid and my brother had a heart attack. That’s a lot in one year. I admit now that changing jobs one month after losing my mom was a very bad idea. When grieving, normal can be a very good thing. I’ve not really had normal this year(most would say I have never been normal). I’ve dealt with a lot of stress, depression and general melancholy. Some mornings it takes all I have to get up and get out of the house. Some mornings I just feel sad and on the verge of tears. Some mornings I’m OK. Once I’m out of the house I’m generally good. I go to work and do a decent job. I write dumb little blog posts. It’s getting better, but I’m still not completely myself.  I didn’t see or talk to my mom as much as I should have, but I miss her a lot.

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8 Comments

  1. Thanks for writing about this – too many times people just don’t want to talk or think about grief. I’m so sorry about your losing your mother, as well as the other stressful situations all piling on close together that way.
    I hate cancer. It killed my mother, my stepfather, and my grandfather, and my wife is a survivor. It’s like a sniper stalking our family picking loved ones off.
    Emotions being up and down and all over the place is normal, as you no doubt know. It does get better with time – hearing that doesn’t make it hurt any less at the moment, but for me at least, it’s like a broken bone; the awareness that it won’t always hurt this way makes it easier to bear. It’s been 17 years since we lost my mom and 14 years for my stepdad, and after the first few years thinking about them made me smile or laugh more often than it made me ache.
    I’ll have you in my thoughts today. Please take care and be gentle with yourself.

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