In an effort to be a calmer, less angry person I am trying to learn several lessons that I think will make me a better, as opposed to a bitter, person.
- I Don’t Care: Obviously, this doesn’t mean be an asshole who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves(more on them later) but more about not caring about stuff that is annoying, ridiculous and just plain stupid, but in the long run don’t really matter. I care too much about things that really shouldn’t matter to me. I need to learn to ignore, or maybe laugh at, the stupidity in the world instead of letting it get to me.
- Ignore the Apples: Apples here actually mean assholes. Apples is the result of someone’s amusing auto correct. There are people in the world who are just not nice people. They care only about themselves and go through life not worrying about how their actions affect others. Some of them pretend to be your friend, but stab you in the back first chance they get. Some of them don’t even bother to pretend. Some of them might be too dumb to realize they are acting like assholes. They might be the worst ones of all. They are hard to ignore, especially when their actions are affecting you. So, I will vow to spend as little time as possible with these people and only deal with them when I have to. You can’t avoid them all, but you can limit exposure.
- Don’t Drive Angry: I have a serious issue with anger while driving. I don’t get to the point that I will start a fight with other drivers, but I get way too angry when people do dumb things on the road. Music doesn’t help, listening to books don’t help. I have no idea how to fix this one, but I’m going to try. As long as they are not making the road dangerous, their stupidity will not keep me from getting home. Just relax and enjoy the drive(I hate driving).
- Put the Phone Down(said in Nic Cage Voice) – I complain to my daughter when we are watching a TV show or movie because she is staring at her phone, but I do it as well. I don’t spend the entire time on the phone, but I glance at Facebook, Twitter, sports scores etc. way too much while watching TV and movies. I also spend time doing this when I should be reading. This also causes some of the above issues because social media is full of apples and stupidity. Why am I willingly reading this stuff? I, on the other hand, am interesting and hilarious. Please continue to read my blog, Facebook and Twitter.
- Laugh more: Unfortunately, funny people like me are not supposed to laugh at ourselves and I’m the funniest person I know(and the most humble) so finding laughs can be hard. There are some TV shows that are funny, but it’s not the same as laughter with friends. I do have some funny friends, but we tend to focus on 1 & 2 above more than just having fun. I need to have more fun.
I’m sure there are more, but they are hard to remember when you frantically type these things out on your lunch break. If you know me in real life and see me doing this stuff wrong call me out on it.
The World's Common Tater 
Reblogged this on The World's Common Tater and commented:
I was looking for another post of mine and stumbled across this one. I have pretty much failed at all of these since writing it. Finding it was a good reminder of things I need to work on. Also, re-sharing with a very brief paragraph intro keeps me from feeling like I need to write an actual post again.
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I think this a perfect list! Good luck!
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Detach, detach, detach – it’s not that we don’t care, it’s that we don’t get hung up on things we can’t change. (You know why the Dalai Lama had to get rid of his Kirby vacuum cleaner? Too many attachments.)
I like the book The Four Agreements. Used to give it to therapy clients as a reading assignment. Briefly, it explains four simple guidelines for quality of life: be impeccable with your word (i.e. don’t lie or gossip), don’t take anything personally, don’t make any assumptions (that one’s especially hard for me), and always do your best. I may have #2 and #3 in reverse order, doesn’t matter.
I worked with one guy who was very high-strung and tended toward a lot of drama. He’d come into my office bouncing off the walls, almost having a stroke about the latest obnoxious thing someone had done, and I’d say, “Okay, which agreement covers this one?” He’d roll his eyes and say, “I know, I know, don’t take things personally,” or “Don’t assume anything.” After a while he said that when he started to get upset he’d find himself pondering the same question and it would short-circuit his outrage.
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