No, I don’t mean room for improvement on my blog, though that is true. Day 26 asks for an area in my life I would like to improve. There are long lists of things about me that could improve. I’m sure there are people who are reading this who would love to tell me all the ways I could improve. I could improve my diet, my physical condition, my spiritual condition, my attitude, my looks(plastic surgery!), etc. I thought about finding joy, worrying less, being more patient and it was hard to settle on one. I decided to pick the one thing I keep claiming I will do and never do.
I am known for applying for a lot of different jobs both within my current organization and in other systems. I’m not doing this because I’m unhappy in my job or with my current organization. For a while I did it because I was in jail and desperate to get out. Now I am out of jail, but I keep applying for promotions and transfers. I think it is some weird sort of addiction. Seriously, though, it really just boils down to me thinking that there must be something more I could do in my professional life. When I was young I had big dreams about doing big things. The universe has obviously been trying to tell me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I need to learn how to live with that.
How do I live with that? Continue to work hard and do the job to the best of my ability. I am there already, so that’s a plus. Find ways to make what I do more interesting and enjoyable. I am doing more classes and events and teaching a class on teen fiction. I just need to keep finding new things to make the job new and interesting on a regular basis. I am involved in the state professional association and that helps with working within the field in a different way.
The big thing I need to do is find things outside of work that make me feel like I am doing bigger and better things. It is not a coincidence that I was happier in my job(even while in jail) when I was working with the youth group at my old church. I was teaching Sunday school, leading weekly Bible studies, going to camp in the summer, running lock ins, etc and spending a lot of time with the youth. This is what made me feel like I was doing meaningful work. I still worked hard in my job and did my best there, but I had my kids that made me feel accomplished. These “kids” are now all adults with kids of their own. I’m old. After this, I had my actual kids at home and was busy with them. Coaching baseball, coaching basketball, spending time at gymnastics and the dance studio, dancing in the Dad’s dance, etc. Now my kids are older. One is away at school and the other is not far behind. I have a hole that needs to be filled and I was trying to fill it with a new job when I should fill it with meaningful work outside of work.
So, what I want to improve is finding ways both at work and outside of work to feel like I am making a difference.