[Insert Name Here] Not Included

There are two different ways to handle invitations to a kid’s birthday party. You can either invite a limited number of kids(your kid’s actual friends) and risk the wrath of the uninvited or you can invite the entire class and hope that only the friends show up.  If your kid wants to invite the entire class and you have space for 30 kids that’s great and will take care of any issues of kids not being included. For the most part, however, parties are limited by space and kids have to choose who they want to invite. If your kid does not receive an invitation it may not mean my kid doesn’t like them. It’s likely that there are space issues and they are not a close friend of my kid.  Of course, it could also mean that no one likes your kid because he is a brat or a bully or boring.  I shouldn’t have to hide the fact that my kid is having a party from people because it may hurt someone’s feelings.  The fact is not everyone can be included in everything all the time.

This is a lesson we should let kids learn early on in life. It’s best they learn now that they will not be invited to every social event everyone they know ever throws because, guess what?  As a grown up you will not be invited to every social event that every person you know ever throws.  The reasons are the same as above: limited space, limited resources, or they just don’t really like you.  While it feels good to be invited to events(even ones the planner knows I would never attend) I don’t expect to be invited to everything.  Most of my friends are women and I understand that sometimes there are women only events. That’s OK. There are some people I know, but aren’t close enough to to be invited to their parties. I’m OK with that. I’m a pessimist, boring and tend to not talk a lot at parties. That means some people don’t want me around and won’t invite me. I’m OK with that because guess what?

Sometimes I will get coffee at work and not tell anyone because I don’t want to deal with multiple orders. Sometime I will go out to lunch and not tell anyone because I just want to be alone. Sometimes  I will hang out with a few of my closest friends and not invite anyone else because it’s more fun that way.  Sometimes I will have a Super Bowl Party and invite everyone at work regardless of how I may feel about them. It all depends on how I feel when I am the one doing the inviting. When you are the one doing the inviting it can be all about you but the rest of life isn’t.

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